Notes: You ever have one of those days where you come home and find that the cat has barfed not once, but twice; and you look out your back window to find that your gas grill has blown over so you go outside to stand it up, but instead end up slamming yourself into a brick wall and down onto the cement so hard that you can't move for fifteen minutes; then come inside too tired and cold to eat so you think you'll pay the bills only you can't find your mortgage coupon; then decide that maybe you'll just lose yourself in fanfiction and stretch yourself out at the desk only to find that your cat has taken to depositing bits of uneaten food around the house to snack on (since he's 13 years old and it's a three story townhouse)? No? I guess it's just me then. And Deb and Donna. *g* This story is for Deb and Donna because they're also having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week.

Acknowledgments: My thanks to Lola for betaing this story.

Acknowledgments: This story parallels the wonderful children's story by Judith Viorst. No copyright infringement was intended on her lovely book and no money was made. The boys aren't mine either. Never will be. No money was made, but hopefully I made one or two people smile.

Warning: One bad word.


BLAIR, AND THE HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, NO GOOD VERY BAD DAY



Rimilod






Blair had gone to sleep very, very late because he had to finish a paper for his class and hadn't had any time to work on it because he had been on a stakeout with Jim. When the alarm went off, he was very tired and hit the snooze alarm. After a while, Jim came into his room and yelled at him to get up or he was going to be late for class.

And Blair worried that it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Blair raced into the bathroom and took a quick shower. He hurried to get dressed, but the only clean pair of pants he could find were a pair of tight, old, worn jeans. It was cold outside and he knew he was going to freeze but he didn't have any choice. As he raced into the kitchen to find something to eat, Jim yelled at him again about the towels on the bathroom floor.

And Blair decided he was going to go to Borneo with his mentor, Eli Stoddard.

Blair got his paper and his backpack and ran to his beloved Volvo, but it wouldn't start. Blair pleaded with several deities, but none of them saw fit to answer him. Picking up his things, he walked toward the building, just as Jim was coming out. Blair begged Jim to take him to school. Jim said okay, but he wasn't happy about it because he had an interview with a witness scheduled first thing.

Blair just knew it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Jim dropped Blair off in front of Hargrove Hall, and Blair remembered his manners and thanked Jim for the ride. As Blair ran up the stairs, he slipped and fell and banged his shins on the concrete, which made his eyes water in pain.

Blair sighed. It really was turning into a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Blair hobbled to class and managed to turn in his paper, but as he walked back to his office, Janice told him that Old Bess was down for repairs and she hadn't been able to make the copies of his handouts for his lecture.

Blair told her it was okay. After all, he was moving to Borneo to study with Eli and would never have to see the stupid, cranky copy machine again.

Blair taught his class with throbbing knees. When the bell rang, his stomach growled. He decided to go to the cafeteria and pick up a salad, but when he got there he realized he had left his wallet at the loft.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

So Blair went back to his office and had three students come in during office hours, all complaining about the grades on their last test. He tried to explain to them that they could improve their grades by studying, but each one thought that he should just give them a higher grade. When he disagreed, they became angry and each one slammed his door as they left.

I'm definitely going to Borneo, he thought to himself. If students give me any lip there, I'll just feed them to the headhunters.

Once his students were gone, he gathered his things and asked Melissa for a ride to the station. Missy agreed and for a moment Blair thought his day might improve, but Missy used the ride to rant about her dating life and men in general... and why were men so stupid anyway? Blair's head hurt, but he really tried to make the best of it; after all, she was doing him a favor.

But it was still a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Remembering his manners, he thanked Missy, even though he really didn't want to thank her for yelling at him. Wearily, he trudged to the elevators, hoping that maybe he could salvage the rest of the day. But the moment he entered Major Crime, a big mutant of a man grabbed him by his neck and threatened to kill him if the cops didn't back the fuck off.

"I'm having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day," Blair gasped quietly. No one answered him though.

While the mutant yelled at Rafe and Henri, Jim was able to circle around and attack the man from behind. The mutant fell forward crushing Blair beneath him, making Blair squeak like a squeeze toy when he hit the ground. Jim pulled the big man off Blair, then yelled at Blair for not paying attention to his surroundings when he came in to the Bullpen.

Blair's head hurt worse, and now his ribs hurt, too. He decided he really was going to Borneo to study the pygmies, where he would be considered the big bad mutant because he would be so much taller than everyone else.

He sighed. It really was turning out to be quite the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Jim wanted to take Blair to the hospital, but all Blair wanted to do was go home and go back to bed. Jim yelled at him, but Blair put his foot down and Jim drove him back to the loft in silence. As he got out of the truck, a cold wind blew, piercing his thin jeans and freezing his legs more than they already were.

Shivering, he jogged up the stairs toward the loft. He was definitely moving to Borneo. Cold in Borneo was sixty degrees, and Blair knew he could live with it being that cold.

Blair was hungry, but was too tired to cook. He wanted Jim to cook, but Jim just went up to his bedroom. Blair sighed.

It had been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

His mom once told him that some days were like that. She also told him that there were even bad days in Borneo, but Blair hadn't believed her.

Blair went into his room, put his backpack on the desk and sat on the edge of his bed. He heard a knock on his door, but he was too tired to look up or even call out a "come in".

After a moment the bed beside him creaked and Jim sat down next to him. Without a word, Jim put his muscular arms around Blair's shoulders and held him tight. Blair sighed, tiredly, but Jim made soft comforting noises. Blair liked the way Jim made him feel safe.

"It's going to be okay. Tomorrow is another day, a fresh day," Jim whispered.

Blair nodded and decided maybe he wouldn't go to Borneo after all.

The End


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