SLOW SPEED CHASE



Crowswork






"He's got a hostage Sandburg."

"It's his twin brother. He threw him his car keys." Blair gestured at the 1933 Hudson Terraplane that toddled down the highway at twenty-miles an hour. "They're over eighty."

"I don't want them hurt any more than you do." Jim ground his teeth as he looked around. "Every damn police car in Cascade must be out here."

"Can't they call them off?" Blair looked up the new choppers hovering overhead. "I mean... all he was doing was growing pot for his brother and some other cancer patients at the senior center."

"If we can catch them, he'll get a slap on the wrist." Jim picked up the mike and requested that the patrol cars back off. "It's reported that he has an old World War II Luger and if he starts waving it around..."

"We have to do something."

"Slide over here and drive." Jim ordered as he slid sideways and Sandburg edged over his lap. "Hope to hell those choppers can't see this."

"Come on, Jim." Blair grabbed the wheel and took over driving. "You know Mrs. Holstaff at the bakery says we're a cute couple."

"That's amusing." Jim opened Sweetheart's passenger door. "Get me close."


Later all four of Cascade's major newscasts had the footage.

Soon, it turned up on the Fox Channel special, World's Craziest Chases.

"Check out the 'low speed chase' that went on in Cascade. Pursuing two eighty-four year old pot growers, is an army of confused police men." The announcers smarmy voice gushed as a birds-eye-view of Sweetheart and an ancient sedan appeared.

"Here we see a detective in a blue pick-up try a stunt worthy of Bruce Willis. He leans out of a moving vehicle into the driver's window of the antique car. Now the car swerves and the hapless detective is stretched between the two moving vehicles, so he jumps onto the running board of the classic car.

"One of the old-timers in the car pokes him with a cane and it's off to the races. Yes, the detective is now chasing the car on foot. Here comes his partner with the truck. He tries to offer a lift and knocks the detective down with the passenger door. Ouch, that's gonna leave a bruise.

"Now the hapless but agile detective jumps into the back of the 1969 pick-up. They're soon pacing the rickety renegades and the detective jumps again... this time onto the passenger side running board. The old fellow riding shot-gun pokes at him and he grabs the cane and tosses it onto the highway. Watch that littering, officer.

It's a stand-off, Cascade style. The detective orders them to stop but they keep right on driving... with one angry detective standing there on the running board. I don't know what he's saying but I'm pretty glad we can't read his lips. Cut to twenty minutes later when the old-timers run out of gas and apparently brakes.

"Yeah, folks, the old gents are now careening down a mountain side with no brakes and a detective clinging for life to the side of their car.

"Now comes the most amazing part of the video. The detective's partner pulls in front of the runaway antique and gradually applies the brakes. Good going buddy. That was some feat of driving -- what a pro.

"On the bright side, the old-timers got a suspended sentence. The cops got a commendation -- and in one instance, a bad case of wind-burn -- and the classic vehicles sustained only minor damage."

The End


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