Well, this one has been a long time in coming! I started university this past year and needed to take some time away from writing to concentrate on my studies ... however, now that finals are over I can return to my true passion!! Hope you enjoy the new story as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Disclaimer: Nothing about The Sentinel belongs to me, unfortunately :o), everything about it belongs to UPN and Pet Fly Productions. Whatever your comments, good or bad, (good I hope) I'd love to hear them. There's a slight Cassie warning for this one, she's in it, I'm just not sure for how long! As well, I've paired Simon off ... with who? Well, for that you'll have to read the story! This one is dedicated to Wolfpup and TAE, thanks for all of your help and encouragment! The words Blair shares with Jim are not my creation, they belong to Peter David, the author of "Imzadi".

DARKNESS AND LIGHT

Tara

At first, he'd been happy for Cassie. The new job offer sounded like the kind of thing that could really make her career; but then, things had taken a rather unexpected turn ...

"Montreal?" Blair muttered to himself, dragging a hand through his thick, chocolate brown curls. Walking into the loft he shut the door with a little more force than necessary and absentmindedly tossed his keys into the basket by the door. A quick glance around confirmed that Jim wasn't home from the station yet. Just as well. he thought as he opened up his bedroom door and hurled his backpack at the back wall. He tossed his jacket onto his bed, sighing. The sentinel had little tolerance for any kind of self pity.

The late afternoon light filtered into his eyes as he stepped out onto the balcony, collapsing into a chair. It was a beautiful, sunny day in Cascade, but inside he just felt lost in the clouds as his thoughts and emotions spiralled out of control. Cassie had been so excited when she'd told him about the job offer, not that he could blame her. It was a fantastic offer, the opportunity of a lifetime, and only a selfish jerk would have tried to tell her differently. He loved Cassie too much to try and keep her from leaving; so, instead, he had pushed down the hurt, giving her his full support, almost choking on his insincerity as he hugged her. Everything will turn out OK. he told himself, but it wasn't all right.

He couldn't remember a time when it was this hard to say goodbye to someone. "But this isn't just any someone." Blair mused to himself. After Michael's arrest and conviction, he and Cassie had spent many long nights together, talking. He still remembered the time in the loft when they'd both been extremely relaxed, allowing the pleasant buzz of the wine from dinner to wash over both of them. A friendly good night kiss turned into something much more passionate. Since then, their relationship had blossomed into something so much more than friendship. He loved Cassie, loved her. Blair, woman-of-the-week Sandburg had actually found someone he could spend his life with, but now it was too late - she was leaving. It'll be OK he tried to tell himself, unsuccessfully, slipping deeper into depression.

Trudging out of the elevator, Jim sighed with relief as he reached his front door. He'd been able to tell that Blair was home even from the street so, dispensing with his keys, he slipped quietly into the loft. It had been a long day. He'd spent the entire day, 8 mind numbing hours, relaying every detail of last month's drug bust to the courtroom. The defense had put up a good show, but the case had really been pretty cut and dried. They'd caught the perp holding two kilo's of cocaine, not to mention the virtual pharmacy he had hidden in his basement. Judge Cates was one of the tougher, no nonsense judges too, handing down a 15 year prison sentence, finally releasing the sentinel from the confines of the courtroom.

Now, all he wanted to do was kick back and spend a relaxing night at home with his friend... and eat his stomach reminded him with a growl, since he'd been forced to skip lunch that afternoon when his computer had decided to crash, totally destroying the report he'd been working on.

The night air was quickly getting chilly and Jim shivered slightly as he noticed the open balcony doors. His partner was just sitting out there, staring off into space. "Blair?" Jim called out softly, receiving no response. This can't be good he thought to himself as he detoured to the fridge, grabbing two cold beers. Normally his partner couldn't stand the cold, complaining if the temperature dropped even a few degrees. Now, here he was sitting outside in a t-shirt, seemingly oblivious to the cold. With a soft sigh he joined his friend outside.

Placing a hand on his guide's shoulder, he squeezed gently, startling the young man's thoughts back into reality. "Hey, Chief."

Blair plastered a smile on his face, but his dull, topaz eyes betrayed his true mood. "Hey," he repeated softly, avoiding Jim's gaze as he accepted the beer, "I didn't hear you come in."

"So," Jim began slowly, pulling a second chair next to Blair's, "you want to tell me what's going on?" Curious.

Blair shrugged, "It's nothing, man."

Jim raised a disbelieving eyebrow. So this is how it's going to be, huh? "Come on, Sandburg," he sighed, "something's eating at you." Blair remained silent. What's going through your head, Chief? I may as well not even be here for all the notice you're taking of me.

He tried a different approach. "Chief, aren't you the one who's always telling me that we should talk about our problems with each other?"

Blair sighed, a slight edge to his voice, "Look, Jim, I said that it's nothing OK? Please drop it."

"Sandburg ..." Jim began again, starting to get a little frustrated with his friend's avoidance.

Suddenly, Blair slammed his beer bottle down on the small table beside them, shattering the glass. He swore under his breath as a piece of the jagged glass sliced into his hand. "Would it really make any difference to you to know what I'm thinking, or how I'm feeling? Why the hell would you care anyhow?" he snapped.

"Let me see your hand." Jim said, softening his voice. Blair didn't move. "It may need stitches Blair, let me see." Slightly flushed with embarrassment, Sandburg extended his hand. "It doesn't look too deep, but it should be cleaned out." Ellison said. Blair opened his mouth to protest, but the determined look on his best friend's face made him reconsider. Silently he stood up and followed Ellison back into the loft, Jim directed him towards the kitchen sink. Turning on the tap, and leaving it running, he gently pulled Blair's hand underneath the water. Sandburg winced at the discomfort from the water hitting the cut, and automatically tried to pull his hand away, but Jim held him firmly as he cleaned the wound. Finished, he shut off the water and reached for a towel, carefully drying the cut.

"Almost finished, Chief." He promised, vanishing into the bathroom for a split second, returning with a small first aid kit. "This is going to hurt a little bit." He warned, as he gently sanitized the cut with a small amount of antiseptic. Blair bit his lip as the liquid seemed to set his skin on fire. After waiting a few seconds for the liquid to evaporate, Jim expertly bandaged his friend's hand.

"Thanks, man." Blair said weakly.

"Look, Blair," Jim said softly as he re-packed the first aid kit, "whatever I said, I didn't mean to upset you this much."

He watched as a million different emotions coursed across Blair's face. "Damn, Jim, I'm sorry." Blair said softly, fighting hard to keep the emotion out of his voice. "Please just forget I said anything, OK? I didn't mean it."

Ellison reached over, gently squeezing Blair's arm. "Forget what?" He smiled. "Look, Blair," Jim began tentatively, "I'm here if you decide you want to talk, OK?"

Blair returned his gaze briefly, smiling sadly. "Yeah, I know Jim. Thanks."

Returning the smile, Jim affectionately tousled Blair's curls. "I was thinking of just ordering a pizza tonight and watching the Jag's game. Is that OK with you?"

"Hmmmm?" Blair replied, "Oh, yeah, sure. Sounds fine, man." His thoughts were obviously elsewhere.

Blair didn't get like this often, but when he did, there was seemingly no talking to him until he was ready. What can I do, Chief? Jim wondered silently as he placed the order for the pizza. When it's my emotions and my own refusal to deal with them, you always dive right into the heart of the matter, no matter how hard I try to keep you in the dark. I'm the one who can't talk about his feelings, you've always been the stronger man in that regard. Flicking on the television he sat down on the sofa, lost in thought.

They ate in awkward silence. Jim watched, concerned, as his best friend merely picked at the toppings, finally pushing his plate aside. "Not hungry, Chief?" Jim asked.

Blair shook his head, averting Jim's gaze. "Sorry, man." He said, as his best friend's eyebrows arched downward over concerned eyes. "I'm really not going to be good company for you tonight." He slouched against the back of the couch, a puzzling expression on his face.

"That's OK." Jim smiled. "If you want to talk about it, I'm here though."

Blair smiled. "I know." It was strange really. When he and Jim had first met, the ex army vet couldn't stand him. He'd been so cold, and so distant ... but, then, something had just seemed to click between the two of them. Jim had actually started opening up to him. He'd started noticing the differences, the little mannerisms that appeared when they were together, after Jim had almost fatally shot the security guard two years ago, when they'd both thought that he'd lost his senses permanently. You just don't seem to try as hard to keep me out of your life anymore, man. Blair smiled inwardly, knowing that Jim had given him a stability and security that he'd never had before. They had a friendship that went beyond mere words. They were partners too, and he wouldn't change that for anything.

"Thanks, Jim." He sighed, absentmindedly bringing a hand up to try and massage away the tension that had seemingly taken up residence in his shoulders.

"No problem." Jim smiled. "Want some help with that?"

A tiny smile crept onto Blair's face. "Thanks for the offer, but it's OK."

"Yeah, right." Jim said, raising an eyebrow. "Blair, please," Jim asked softly, "let me do this for you, OK?" It wasn't much, but at least he'd be helping his guide to feel a little better.

"You really don't mind?"

Jim grinned, sliding to the edge of his cushion to let Blair stretch out on the couch. Blair sighed happily as the strong, dedicated hands began to massage away the tension that had been building over the weekend.

"I really appreciate this, man."

"Stop saying that, Chief." Jim chuckled, grateful to be doing something, anything, for his guide.

Blair smiled into the cushion, letting the warm, comforting feeling wash over him. Half an hour later, and yawning almost uncontrollably, Blair sat up, chuckling softly to himself. "Man, I am exhausted. I should get to bed before I end up sleeping on the couch." He got up. "Thanks again, Jim. I ..."

"I know ... you really appreciated it." Jim finished for him, grinning at the tiny smile that appeared on Blair's face. "Night, Chief."

"Night." Blair yawned.

Turning off the television, Jim flipped off the lights downstairs and locked up. Then, he headed upstairs to bed himself, tossing a lingering glance at his guide's closed door as he slowly climbed the stairs.

Simon Banks opened his front door surprised to find Megan Connor standing there. She'd been transferred to Vice last month and it was rare to see her in the bullpen anymore, let alone standing on his doorstep. A pleasant smile crossed his face. "Come on in, Connor."

"Sorry to bother you sir, but I thought that you might like to review my reports, they're from the Hayden case..." Megan explained.

"It's no problem," Banks said, accepting the files, surprised at the sudden adrenaline rush he felt as his hand brushed against Connor's, "you and Jim did a first rate job on this case. Cascade seems to be a magnet for dangerous criminals already, the last thing we needed was to have more drugs on the street." Megan smiled at the compliment.

"Have you had dinner yet?" He offered, taking a quick look at the lovely young woman standing before him.

"Oh no, I don't want to intrude. I was actually just on my way home."

Startled by his sudden disappointment, Simon cleared his throat. "It's really no trouble. Daryl's spending the night at a friend's house, and I just took a casserole out of the oven, why don't you stay? I'd love to have some company." He stepped back to let Megan into the house.

Connor smiled at him, "In that case, I'd love to stay, thank you sir."

Simon took her coat, "We're off duty, please call me Simon." He missed Megan's questioning glance as he turned to open the hall closet.

"I think I can handle that." She replied, smiling pleasantly. "So, is there anything I can do to help?" she offered as Simon led the way to his kitchen.

He put her to work setting the table while he finished putting a few final touches on the casserole before bringing it to the table. "So," Simon asked as they ate, "how are you finding Vice?"

Connor looked him in the eye, raising an eyebrow, "Honestly?" Banks nodded. "Well, the job is challenging, I'll give it that."

"But?" Simon prodded, sensing her hesitation.

"Let's just say that Captain Murphey and I don't get along and leave it at that." That was an understatement really. All Murphey really needed was a loin cloth and a club and he would have fit in perfectly with the early neanderthals.

They chatted some more as they finished up dinner. Simon found himself caught up with just listening to her speak, and was genuinely disappointed when the food disappeared much too quickly. She volunteered to help him out with the dishes, an offer that Simon readily accepted. For reasons he couldn't really understand at the moment he wanted to keep her there as long as possible.

"It was really very sweet of you to ask me to stay, Simon." Megan told him as he walked her to the front door, her voice soft.

"Anytime," Banks grinned, retrieving her coat from the closet, "I really enjoyed having you here ... maybe, we could do it again sometime?" Hesitantly he leaned down and brushed a chaste kiss across her cheek, nearly having a heart attack when her hands came up of their own volition to encircle his neck.

The first touch of their lips was sweet and gentle. Megan leaned in a little closer as a strong hand traced along her backbone, sliding slowly downward, savouring the exquisite sensations it was producing. From the minute she'd first laid eyes on the tall, handsome captain she'd been nuts about him. Only a month ago, she'd still been his subordinate, though, knowing he was out of reach. Trying to keep her feelings from becoming public knowledge, however, had been difficult. Privately, she'd entertained hopes that they could somehow get together, despite the difference in their ranks and the rules of professional behaviour that governed them both. Rules she secretly despised; and now, her hopes seemed to have come true.

The need for oxygen finally exerting itself, Megan broke the kiss, trembling with excitement. "I'll take that as a yes." Simon teased lightly.

"Definitely." Connor replied, smiling.

Banks slid his arm around her slender shoulders as he walked her to her car, drawing her close to him. Megan snuggled up against him, a ridiculous grin plastered across her face. He kissed her one more time before reluctantly relaxing his embrace, watching as she turned to leave. When she had driven off he headed back inside, whistling softly to himself.

Jim lay in bed with his hands behind his head, fingers interlocked, debating whether or not to go downstairs. Blair's tossing and turning had kept him up most of the night, not to mention the occasional bouts of tears. Concerned, he forced his weary body to sit up and slide out of bed. Pulling on his fuzzy blue robe, he padded downstairs. Glancing at his roommate's closed door, he walked over, knocking softly. "Sandburg?" No response.

Part of him wanted to respect his roommate's right to privacy, but another part, the one that was winning out, wanted to go in there and do something; anything. Blair was obviously hurting about something. What affects you, affects me, Chief. Jim told himself as he slowly pushed the door open. "Blair? Come on, Chief, talk to me." Jim spoke softly, perfectly imitating the tone Blair used in his 'guide' mode.

After what seemed like an eternity, Blair turned towards him. Seeing the hurt in the younger man's slightly swollen red eyes, Jim sat down on the edge of the bed, restlessly toying with the soft comforter, a little unsure of how to proceed.

"I'm sorry," Blair said, fighting hard to keep the emotion out of his voice, "I didn't mean to wake you up. Actually, please just forget that I did." Seeing Jim's mouth opening in protest, Blair hurried on. "I'm sorry Jim, but I just want to be alone for a little while, OK?"

"You'll never be alone, Chief." Jim said, holding his gaze. At least not while there's still life in my body. He added silently, his concern increasing steadily.

"Jim, please," Blair was almost whining, "I don't want to talk about this."

"With me?"

"With anyone." Blair countered, seeing the hurt expression flash briefly across his best friend's face. "Look, it's not you, OK. I just have some stuff I need to figure out."

"Like what?" Jim asked, holding Blair's eyes. "How can I help you?"

Blair smiled sadly, "Just give me a little time by myself, please." Reaching over he covered the larger man's hand with his own, watching his partner's emotional mask fall into place. "We can talk later, OK?" He assured, silently counting his blessings for such a devoted friend.

Ellison's jaw began to unclench, realizing Blair's avoidance really wasn't about him. "OK, Chief. Whenever you're ready to talk, I'm willing to listen." With a soft sigh he stood and headed for the door.

"Thanks, Jim," Blair called after him, "I promise we'll talk later." Ellison nodded, pulling the door shut as he left the room, respecting Blair's wish to be alone. Heading back upstairs, Jim shook his head, almost a gesture of defeat. He was trying, but it just seemed as though Blair kept shutting him out at every turn. He wouldn't really say what was bothering him and he kept shying away from him whenever the sentinel tried to help. Time heals all wounds he thought to himself, but in the meantime, it was killing him to see Blair hurting.

Three hours later, he awoke, unrested. The warm, enticing aroma of banana pancakes, one of Blair's specialties, filled the loft. Stretching a little, he forced himself to get out of bed and pull on his robe before padding downstairs to evaluate his partner's mood this morning.

Blair glanced up from the stove at the sound of his roommate on the stairs, "Morning, Jim." he smiled, returning his attention to the sizzling frying pan in front of him. "The coffee's hot and breakfast will be ready in about five minutes, OK?"

"Got it, Chief." Jim said, glancing at the younger man as he walked into the kitchen to pour himself a mug of coffee.

Turning to fish some plates out of the cupboard, Blair suddenly felt foolish. Drawing in a deep, cleansing breath and exhaling slowly, he looked over at Jim. The stress and tension of the past few days eased up, slightly, but the pain was still there, just as intense and brutal as when it had started the day before. It's about friendship, remember? "I suppose I owe you an explanation for my behaviour lately, huh?" He said softly as he dished out breakfast and brought the plates over to the table.

Joining his best friend at the table, Jim looked at him. "Are you sure you want to talk about this now?" There was a slight tinge of anger in Ellison's voice, stemming from his early attempts to get Blair talking, when his concern had almost been thrown back in his face. Sandburg dropped his eyes to the floor, and shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sorry," Jim said, softening his voice, "you still want to talk?" Mentally willing Blair to look at him.

Blair nodded, sitting down at the table. "I know you think I was mad at you or something, but I wasn't Jim, honestly. I'm just pissed off about another situation right now." Ellison watched the animated young man as he launched into his so called explanation, it seemed more rehearsed than spontaneous.

Finishing, and pausing to take a breath, Blair studied the man sitting across from him. The sentinel's jaw muscles were spasming and that damn mask of his was firmly in place, locking in the older man's true feelings. "Let me get this straight," Jim said, fighting to keep his voice calm, "this whole mood of yours has been over Cassie?" A nod. Jim bit down hard on his lip, almost drawing blood. "So, you let me go out of my mind worrying about you, and only because your current fling may or may not be ending?" Immediately he regretted his words, but they'd just tumbled off of his tongue and he'd been incapable of stopping them. Damn it Jim silently cursed to himself. He'd known, of course, that Blair and Cassie were a couple. But, for all of his partner's chatter, he didn't really say much about that relationship. He'd barely given the memo regarding Cassie's new assignment a second thought ... everything he knew about his best friend's involvement with the forensic chief was more from public observance than from the appearance of openness Blair gave, but now it was clear that the emotions involved obviously went much deeper than with most of his friend's relationships.

"Fling?" Blair snapped angrily. His voice rose in volume. "I love her Jim, LOVE her. Only a selfish bastard wouldn't feel anything if someone they loved was leaving. Where the hell do you get off?" Icy blue eyes flashed with anger. Jim opened his mouth to apologize, but Blair would have none of it. Rising from the table he stalked into his room to collect what he needed for class before storming out of the loft. Jim winced as the door slammed, mentally chastising himself for his own inability to deal with emotions.

"Good morning, Jim." Simon greeted, surprisingly jovial for a Monday morning, as the sentinel walked into his office. "Coffee?" He held up a steaming pot of java.

"No thanks, Simon." Jim said, settling into a chair. For the moment, he was going to try and push the argument with Blair out of his head, what good would dwelling on it do him, anyhow? In any case, he had a job to do, one that required a clear head.

Taking a deep breath he brought his thoughts back to the present, smiling at his captain. He hadn't seen Simon this happy in quite a while. "OK, I'll bite," he chuckled, "what happened to put you in such a good mood?"

Simon laughed, beaming at his best detective, as he sat down himself. "Can't I just be happy?" He said, taking a sip of coffee.

Not you. Jim thought, raising a suspicious eyebrow, "You're avoiding the question."

"No kidding." Bank's smiled. "I just don't want this becoming public knowledge yet, all right?"

Ellison blinked, a little hurt. "Whatever, Sir." He started to get up.

"Sir?" Simon repeated dryly, his eyes clouding with confusion at Jim's reaction. "Jim, for crying out loud, I didn't mean that I don't trust you. If anything, it's Sandburg who can never keep something to himself for very long."

Jim shrugged, rubbing his eyes, "You don't have to explain yourself to me." he said sourly.

Simon stared at his detective, a blank look on his face. "I may be going out on a limb here," he said sarcastically, "but I'm assuming you didn't have the best weekend."

So much for forgetting this morning. Jim sighed, bringing a hand up to the bridge of his nose, trying, unsuccessfully, to massage away the tension he felt building there. "It was nothing spectacular." He finally admitted nonchalantly.

Simon groaned, getting his friend to talk was like pulling teeth sometimes. "Blair wasn't using you as a guinea pig again, was he? I told that kid to lay off on all the tests..." He stopped in mid sentence, surprised to see Jim bristle slightly at the mention of his guide's name. The picture was slowly coming into focus. "All right," Simon began, softening his voice, "what went down between you and Sandburg?"

"We just had a little talk, that's all." Jim told him, his jaw clenched.

"A 'little' talk?" He repeated, pursing his lips together. "So, how did it go?"

Jim snorted, "I believe Sandburg would use the phrase, 'bad karma'."

Simon groaned. "Sounds like an extremely productive talk, Jim." He started to say something else, but the phone rang. Thankful for the distraction, Jim slipped out of the office and headed over to his desk. He'll suffer for a little while, but then he'll get over it. You know Sandburg, nothing ever seems to keep him down for very long. Ellison tried to tell himself. Unconvinced he reached for his phone, a little unsure of what he'd actually say to his guide. However, the machine picked up, postponing his apology for the time being. "Blair, it's me. Please call me when you get this message, it's important."

Staring at the phone, mentally willing it to ring, Jim sighed. Fortunately, it had been an unproductive afternoon, his present state of mind wouldn't be able to handle too much excitement. As if on cue, he looked up as a tall shadow approached his desk. "What's up, Simon?"

"We just had an anonymous tip on the Darren case." That cleared the residual fogginess from Jim's head. Vice had been trying to nail this particular drug ring for eight months now, just recently they'd enlisted the help of Major Crimes, as well. "They've been operating out of an old, abandoned warehouse downtown," Simon continued, "it's the perfect cover too, the building's a piece of junk, it's supposed to be demolished sometime next month."

Jim smirked. "I'm sure they thought they'd be long gone before then."

Simon shrugged, "For all we know, they may have cleared out long ago. But, just to be sure, I want you to get down there and check out the situation." He handed Jim a piece of paper with the address to the warehouse on it. Jim reached for the phone as Simon walked away, dialing Blair's office number.

"Hello?" Came the reply.

"Blair, it's me."

There was a long pause, "Yes?" he said, his voice frosty.

"Look, I know you're probably still angry with me, and I can't blame you for that, I acted like a total jackass this morning..."

"But?" Sandburg interjected, mid sentence.

"We got a tip on the Darren case," he explained, fidgeting with a pencil, "our guys might not be around anymore, but Simon still wants us to check out one of the warehouses downtown."

"Jim, I'm really busy." The voice sounded strained. "These term paper marks were due yesterday, and I'm covering a lecture for a friend in about half an hour." The young teaching fellow shook his head, annoyed. Ellison always expected him to drop whatever he was doing and come rushing to his side. Faithful little Blair he grumbled to himself, angrily. "Look, this sounds fairly routine, and I have to get going. Just take Rafe or H with you for once."

Jim was about to respond, but was silenced by the dial tone as his best friend cut the phone connection. Slightly annoyed, he decided to call up Connor. After all, they were both assigned to this case now. He punched in her desk number.

"Connor."

"Hey, Megan, it's Jim. We've got a break on the Darren case..."

"I heard," Connor announced, "the warehouse, downtown. I was actually just going to check it out myself."

"Me too. I'll meet you there in fifteen minutes." Hanging up, he checked his gun in its holster, grabbed his jacket and made his way to the elevator.

Jim arrived before Connor, immediately enlisting the use of his hyperactive senses. Cocking his head to one side he zeroed in on the blackened warehouse, listening for any sign of activity. With all of his attention focused on the warehouse, he didn't notice Megan Connor approaching.

"Jim?" Megan sighed, laying a hand on his shoulder. She'd known something was different about Ellison as soon as she'd transferred to Major Crimes. When they tracked down Alex in the jungle, the book on sentinel's that Sandburg had carelessly left lying around had been the final tip-off. That was all she knew however, Blair, Jim and even Simon were tight lipped about the true extent of Jim's abilities. "Jim?" She repeated, squeezing gently.

Ellison jumped at the contact, reaching automatically for his weapon before he realized who had startled him. "Damn it, Connor." He all but hissed, replacing the gun in its holster.

Megan sighed. "Spare me the lecture about not sneaking up on people, Jimbo." Nodding her head in the direction of the warehouse, she raised an eyebrow. "Is anyone inside?"

"Yeah," Jim replied softly, allowing his attention to shift back to the action in the warehouse, "I can make out four distinct voices. They're ... damn it, it's a deal going down." He reached for his cell phone to call for backup.

"You're late." A gruff voice snarled. "Give me one good reason why I should even bother sticking around to hear a lame excuse."

"I'll give you ten ... ten grand that is." Responded the buyer.

"Let's see the money." The dealer growled.

"First, I want to see the merchandise."

One of the gorilla's attending the buyer produced a gun at a wave from his boss. "I'm calling the shots here. I've got the stuff, but you won't live five seconds to enjoy any of it if you don't cough up the dough, now."

The buyer backed down, raising his hands in a show of submission. "All right, just chill out man." Producing a briefcase he laid it on a wobbly table and flipped it open. "It's all here, you want to count it?"

"That won't be necessary. If you're cheating me I'll just hunt you down and take your head as payment." He growled.

Jim repeated the conversation to Connor as the backup; Rafe, H and Simon, arrived, hustling over to the two detectives. "There's a deal going down." Jim said to them. Rafe quirked a curious eyebrow as he glanced at the warehouse. It was nearly 20 feet away, with the windows boarded up. There was no possible way that Ellison should have been able to see or, for that matter, hear anything. He made a mental note to ask Jim about this at a better time.

On Simon's command, they moved in. Jim and Megan took up their positions at the front entrance to the warehouse, while Simon, Rafe and Brown circled around to the back of the building to cover the rear entrance.

"POLICE, FREEZE!"

The startled criminals automatically ducked back inside the warehouse, drawing their own weapons. The muscle exchanged bullets with Ellison and Connor while the dealer whirled around. "You set me up!" He screamed, raising his gun.

"No, I-I didn't," the buyer stammered nervously, "honestly, I ..." He was silenced in mid sentence as a bullet embedded itself in his forehead. He flew backwards, dead before he hit the ground.

"Cover me." Jim told Megan as he crept towards the entrance to the warehouse, using some nearby trees for cover. He saw her nod in acknowledgement. As he paused behind one tree he called on his hearing again, focusing on the conversation going on inside. Around back, Simon, Rafe and Brown were cautiously edging their way inside the rear entrance to the warehouse.

"Jim? Jim?" Connor called out, she was disregarded. The sentinel seemed to be looking at nothing. "Ellison!" She screamed, frantically trying to draw his attention, unsuccessfully. Oh, God, he's completely zoned out! Megan thought to herself. Unfortunately, she had no idea how to help him, that responsibility had always fallen to Blair.

For a split second she lowered her weapon as she tried to close the distance between them, watching in horror as a lucky bullet found its mark. Jim's large form crumpled to the ground. "NO!" She screamed, darting towards her friend. As she ran towards him, a searing pain shot through the left side of her body. She collapsed in pain.

It was then that Simon and Brown burst onto the scene, with Rafe close behind. A few lucky shots of their own took out the muscle. They began advancing on the dealer. Seeing he had nowhere to go, the middle-aged man backed himself into a corner, squeezing off the few remaining rounds he had left in his gun. The officers ducked behind a pile of scrap wood for cover. With one final bullet, he took his own life, instead of facing life behind bars. Rafe, relatively new to Major Crimes, fought desperately to fight back the nausea at seeing the man's brains decorating the wall of the warehouse as he cautiously emerged from behind his cover. It was a battle he was rapidly losing. Rushing outside he expelled the contents of his stomach onto the grass, gulping in several calming mouthfuls of fresh air.

He was the first to hear the weak moan of pain. Following the sound he dropped to his knees between his friends. "Captain! Henry!" He called out, quickly checking for vital signs. Megan was only semi-conscious, but her vitals were strong. The worst news came when he checked Ellison. The detective had taken a bullet in his chest, and was out cold. Bright red blood was still seeping from the wound.

"Rafe?" Simon and H came rushing outside. "What's wrong? Where are Jim and Megan?" Bank's voice dropped to nearly a whisper as he took in the scene before him.

"Oh, God." He whispered in despair, yanking out his cell phone to call for an ambulance. Rafe was still trying to slow Jim's loss of blood, suddenly grateful for the annual first aid classes he, and all of Major Crimes, had to suffer through each year. Muttering something incoherent, Banks knelt beside Connor, brushing a few stray locks of hair out of her face.

"Shhhh," he soothed gently as she stirred at the touch, "don't try to get up. Help's on the way." Mentally willing the ambulance to be there. He gently ran a hand down her side, growing alarmed when he felt the wet, stickiness of blood just above her left hip. Slowly, excruciatingly slowly, he raised the hem of her shirt, drawing a sharp breath as he noticed the entrance wound. Unlike Jim, there had not been massive blood loss, at least not yet.

"This is going to hurt, but you can handle it baby." He whispered to her as he reached down to apply direct pressure to the wound. Connor whimpered at the burning pain and Simon kept whispering to her, using words he couldn't even remember using with Joan. Sirens sounded in the distance.

He remained that way until he felt Henry grip his shoulders. "Captain? The paramedics are here. They're going to help her but you have to move first."

For a moment, H thought he was going to have to pry his captain's hands off of the Inspector to move him, but then, reluctantly, Simon let go. He stood up shakily as a uniformed paramedic began an assessment. His partner was attending to Jim.

"County General, this is unit two." The driver of the ambulance spoke into a small hand-held radio. "We're on scene at a shooting. There are two victims. The first is female and in stable condition at this time," he repeated as his partner called out information to him, "the other, a male, is presently unconscious, suffering from a bullet wound to the chest."

Since the sentinel's chest cavity was filled with blood, the attending paramedic skillfully inserted a suction tube down into his throat, attaching a small bag at the end which protruded from Jim's mouth to help clear out the officer's lungs. The paramedic then paused a moment to listen to Jim's chest, nodding when he could hear the air entering and exiting. Then they quickly prepared the two injured officers' for transport to the hospital. Simon tried to climb into the back of the ambulance as well, but was informed, rather rudely, by one of the paramedics that there was no room for him.

He felt H pulling him back. "Come on, Captain. The sooner they get to the hospital the better. We'll be right behind them." Simon watched in despair as the rear doors to the ambulance were pulled shut and the vehicle pulled away, siren's wailing.

Several orderlies greeted the ambulance as it screeched to a halt at the hospital, rushing the two patients into the ER. Several different trauma surgeons converged on Megan while Jim was wheeled into an adjoining trauma room. In minutes, the attending trauma staff removed his clothing, preparing him for a full body examination. Fortunately, aside from the wound to his chest, he had no other glaring injuries. One of the attending nurses inserted two large IV lines into the detective's arm and started normal saline running wide open. Simultaneously, another nurse was drawing blood, since time was of the essence, and his blood type needed to be determined if a transfusion was required. He was also hooked up to an EKG, as well as receiving a catheter to collect his urine.

For the moment, Jim was in stable condition, but a subsequent X-ray revealed that the bullet had nicked the lung, penetrating the pleural cavity. The entrance and exit holes from the bullet were covered with square pieces of gauze, taped on 3 sides, only to allow air to escape, but not to enter.

A chest tube was also necessary to ensure that the bleeding had stopped and to treat any pneumonthorax resulting from the hole left by the bullet. A hefty shot of demerol was administered before a hole could be cut into the chest wall to insert the tube. It was then connected to a device which would suck out any air or fluid in the cavity surrounding the lung. More X-rays were then ordered to check for the possibility of any blood surrounding the lung and for air leaking into the space around the lung.

After all of this, Jim was sent to the ICU to be monitored, while the attending physician went out to the waiting room.

The triage nurse motioned him towards the group of men who had taken up residence in one of the corners of the room. One of them, a tall black gentlemen, was pacing back and forth uneasily, muttering under his breath. Taking a deep breath he walked towards them, "Gentlemen?" Immediately he was surrounded and bombarded with questions.

"Where are they? Can we see them? Are they all right?" A little overwhelmed, the doctor took a step back.

"Gentlemen, please. Your detective..."

"Jim, his name is Jim Ellison." Henry interjected.

"Er, yes, Jim, has been stabilized, but he's suffered a very serious injury. The bullet pierced a lung, causing massive hemorraghing, filling the cavity outside the lung, which in turn caused the lung to collapse. We've suctioned out the blood that filled the chest cavity and reinflated his lung and have given him a transfusion to replace the lost blood and have him on continuous antibiotics in his IV. We're waiting to see how he does before deciding whether surgery is warranted. He still hasn't regained consciousness, but we're hopeful that he'll awaken soon."

"What about Megan," Rafe asked, noticing how tense his captain was, "how is she?"

"The young woman that was brought in with Mr. Ellison?" The doctor asked. Three heads nodded. "We removed the bullet and stitched up the wound. She'll make a full recovery." Simon closed his eyes, saying a silent prayer of thanks.

The doctor started to move away, but Rafe spoke up. "You will tell us if anything changes with Jim, won't you?"

"Of course." The doctor assured them.

As he left, Henry sighed. It was going to be a long day. "I'm going to call Sandburg, and then I'm going to go to the cafeteria and grab some coffee, does anyone else want some?" Rafe and Simon muttered unintelligible replies. "I'll assume that you just said 'yes'." No answers. Shaking his head he scanned the room for a pay phone.

After checking his watch, 6:10 in the evening, and pretty sure that Blair would be finished with his classes, he punched in the number to the loft. It rang five times, and H was just ready to hang up, before Blair answered, slightly out of breath.

"Hello?"

"Blair? What's wrong? Why are you out of breath?" Henry blurted out into the phone.

"I'm fine, H," Blair said sheepishly, "you just caught me while I was taking a shower. I didn't hear the phone at first, I'm glad you didn't hang up."

"Yeah, well, I almost did." Henry admitted.

"So, what's up?" Blair asked.

Henry closed his eyes and took a deep breath. No matter how many times he'd had to be the "bearer of bad news" he couldn't get used to this part of his job. Hell, he wouldn't be human if these situations didn't tug at his heart. "I'm calling from the hospital Sandburg." He finally said, pulling the phone away from his ear as Blair yelled into the other end of the line.

"WHAT? Are you OK, what's going on?" Deep inside, he already seemed to know that it was his best friend that was in trouble once again, but nevertheless, he had to make sure.

"I'm fine, Blair," he paused, "it's Jim, he's been shot. Megan was hit too."

His knees suddenly weak, Blair slouched against the wall. "Oh, my God." He whispered, almost inaudibly into the phone. His anger with his friend was forgotten. Rather, it was replaced with guilt for the cold way he'd dismissed his partner earlier on. "I should have been there," he said, his voice gaining volume, "this wouldn't have happened ..."

"Damn it, Sandburg," H interrupted, "you are NOT God. Even if you had been there, things wouldn't have happened any differently."

Blair shook his head, H was wrong, dead wrong. He was supposed to be Jim's guide. He'd known that he was in this for the long haul when he first started working with Jim. "How is he?" The young teaching fellow asked weakly, mentally punishing himself for the way he'd acted lately.

"He's still unconscious, and he's lost a lot of blood, but it sounds like the doctors think he'll be OK. Megan's going to be fine too." Blair let out a pent up breath he hadn't realized that he'd been holding.

"Thank God for that at least." He whispered. "OK, I'm on my way, man. Thanks for calling." Blair ended the call and dashed into his room. He dressed in record time and then, grabbing his keys, he flew out of the loft, nearly forgetting to lock the door behind him.

He would have made it to the hospital sooner, but the traffic had been horrible, not to mention he'd hit practically every red light possible. Blair found himself turning into the kind of negligent driver that he hated, shouting at others and actually considering driving on the sidewalk, if he had to. Nothing was going to keep him from his sentinel now.

Blair ran into the waiting room of Cascade General just as the attending physician was returning. The doctor moved back a little as the boisterous, panicky man nearly slammed into him, babbling wildly. "Where is he? Can I see him? Is he all right?"

"Doctor, this is Blair Sandburg," Simon introduced, "he's Ellison's partner."

"Yeah, some partner I am," Blair muttered under his breath, "he needed me and I wasn't there."

The doctor smiled. "Pleased to meet you." Turning to the rest of the group. "Actually, I have good news, Detective Ellison has just regained consciousness." A large weight suddenly lifted off of the shoulders of the waiting officers.

"Can we see him now?" Blair asked, looking ready to dash through the large double doors closing off the waiting room.

The doctor nodded. "Yes, but he's still being monitored quite closely." He explained, leading the way through the halls towards Jim's room. "You'll have to keep your visits short for now." They stopped before a lime green door. "Mr. Ellison is still recovering from the sedatives we gave him, and he also won't be able to speak to you until the suction tube is removed."

"Uh, he is breathing all right, isn't he?" Blair asked tentatively.

"Yes, but it's hospital policy to wait one full day before removing the tube." A look of relief crossed Blair's face.

"What about Megan?" Simon asked. "Can we see her as well?" The doctor nodded and Simon let himself be led further down the hall as Blair disappeared into his best friend's room.

"Hey, Jim." He said softly, slightly alarmed at the sight of his sentinel with tubes sticking out of his chest and mouth. Jim turned his head at the familiar voice, a smile lifting his lips, and Blair's spirits. Sandburg walked over and quietly pulled a chair next to Jim's bed. Reaching over he covered the sentinel's hand with his own, happy to feel the larger hand grasp his.

Suddenly, a look of anguish descended on Blair's face. Burying his face into the blanket on the bed he babbled incoherently for a few minutes. Waiting patiently, Jim stroked the back of Blair's head, willing his guide to look up at him.

Finally, he did look up, topaz eyes shining with concern. "Do you have any idea how pathetic I feel right now?" Blair asked softly, knowing that the sentinel ears would be able to pick up his voice. A look of confusion passed across Jim's face as Blair continued. "You needed me, Jim. You needed me and I wasn't there. And why? Not because I was doing something important. No, I wasn't there because I wanted to be angry with you for a little bit longer. God, I feel so stupid. How selfish can I possibly be? I actually put an unimportant, pointless lecture before you. I'm so sorry." Sandburg stopped as the pressure increased on his hand. He looked into blue eyes, radiating concern as Jim softly shook his head, angry that he wasn't able to talk and reassure his guide.

"No, Jim," Blair sighed, averting Jim's gaze, "let's admit the facts. I screwed up again." Jim could only look at him, brows furrowed down in concern over suspiciously moist eyes as he listened to his guide punish himself relentlessly.

Megan turned her head as the door to her room opened , a wide smile creeping onto her face. Readily returning the smile, Simon walked over and sat down on the edge of her bed. Gently he brushed some stray curls out of her face.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, caressing her cheek.

"I'm not really feeling much of anything." She giggled, "This pain medication is some interesting stuff." Her expression darkened. "Simon, how's Jim? Is he...?"

"No, thank God. Jim took a beating, but it sounds like he'll be all right. Blair's with him now."

Connor sighed with relief. "Well, if anyone can lift Jim's spirit's it's Sandy." She raised an eyebrow as a peculiar expression crossed Simon's face. "What?"

Simon shrugged, "I talked to Jim this morning and he was in a pretty foul mood. Apparently he and Sandburg had some kind of argument. Actually, I've noticed that Blair's been a little moody lately too."

"Well of course he's upset." Connor said.

"What do you mean?" Curious.

Connor looked at him, an expression of disbelief on her face. "Simon, for heaven's sake, you know full well that Blair and Cassie are involved. Or at least they were."

Simon blinked, recalling Wells' new job offer. "To tell you the truth, I'd forgotten that they were involved. I never thought it was serious though."

"Why not?"

"Connor, come on," Banks chuckled, "we're talking about Blair Sandburg here. He usually strives for quantity, not quality."

Megan rolled her eyes. "Simon, give him a little credit. Maybe he just needed to find his special someone."

A little boy deep inside of Simon considered sitting down and having hysterics. "Aren't we just the little romantic today." A sleepy smile crossed her face.

"Tired?" Megan nodded. Bending down, Simon planted a gentle kiss against her forehead. Standing to leave he first pulled the blanket on her bed up to cover her. He felt a small hand grip his as he started to walk away.

"Stay," she asked, drowsily, "at least until I fall asleep, please?" Simon didn't need to be asked twice. Pulling a chair close to her bed he sat with her, stroking her hand as she slowly gave in to the sedative properties of her pain medication.

Blair dragged his sleeve across his moist eyes as the door to Jim's room opened to reveal Simon. "Hey," he said softly, "Megan just fell asleep, and I wanted to see that you were all right with my own eyes before they kick us out of here." Surveying the scene before him. "What's wrong? Did the doctor tell you anything more?" A slight touch of panic tinged his voice.

Blair shook his head. "No, Jim's OK."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Blair lied, averting his gaze. Simon looked over at Jim and held his gaze for a long time, seeing something that almost beckoned to him

"You know," Simon began slowly, "I've had this conversation before, with your partner. Would you mind telling me just what the hell it is that you want from me?" He raised a disapproving eyebrow at the casual lie Blair had thrown his way. "I thought we were better friends then this Sandburg. Why would you tell me nothing is bothering you when something obviously is. Frankly ... I'm a little hurt." Oh, puh-lease, could I get any more corny? he wondered to himself.

Blair brought his hand up to massage at his temple. "There's absolutely no reason for you to feel hurt, Simon. I'm fine. I just don't want to share every intimate detail of my life with you at every given moment, all right?"

Simon was beginning to become irritated, this just seemed to be a vicious circle. "And just how do you define 'fine', Sandburg?" He asked, his gaze piercing into the young grad student. Blair muttered a response, only audible to sentinel ears. Jim raised an amused eyebrow.

Any further conversation was temporarily interrupted as a nurse entered the room, shooing the two visitor's out. "I'm sorry gentlemen, but you'll have to come back tomorrow morning. Visiting hours are nearing a close and Mr. Ellison here needs a new dose of pain medication."

"You're not giving him morphine, are you? He's really sensitive to that stuff ... don't you have anything else?" Blair looked ready to handcuff himself to Jim's bed.

The nurse smiled at the concern radiating from the young man. She'd heard from others on the floor that these two gentlemen were partners. Perhaps even better friends. She thought to herself. "Actually, no. It's a shot of demerol."

Still looking a little uncertain Blair tentatively picked up Jim's unencumbered hand, squeezing gently and reassuringly. "I'll be back tomorrow morning, first thing, OK?" Jim smiled up at him. As they were leaving, Rafe and H poked their heads inside the dooway, the nurse raising an amused eyebrow.

"Better late than never, right?" Rafe offered. He walked around Jim's bed, chuckling as the detective's eyes followed him everywhere. "Don't worry about a thing, Jim. H and I will handle your case load for you until you're back on your feet again." He would have thanked them if he could, but for now a nod would have to do.

"Yeah," Henry laughed, "Rafe just loves to do paperwork." His partner shot him a dirty look, ruining the effect by laughing himself.

Up until now, the nurse had remained silent. She'd seen cops in here before of course, but she was genuinely impressed with the friendship that these particular men showed. They must be one hell of a team. she mused to herself as the visitors finally made it through the door.

"Simon, you don't have to hover." Blair sighed. Shrugging off his jacket. The tall captain had followed him back to the loft in his car.

Banks almost looked embarrassed. "Well ... that's ... that's good to hear." He cleared his throat. "Look, Sandburg. I know something went down between you and Jim this morning. This situation has to be dealt with in some way, you know that."

They looked at each other for a long moment, and Simon had to admit he felt an overwhelming fatherly drive to give the grad student a massive bear hug when he saw the pain and grief in those young eyes. Not all that comfortable with his own emotions though, he closed the distance between them, then reached over, putting his hands on Blair's shoulders.

"Sandburg, you can tell me." Simon urged gently, steering the bundle in his arms to the couch.

"You wouldn't understand, Simon." He wasn't Jim's guide. He didn't have the responsibility of studying every little bit of information to keep the sentinel safe.

"Oh, you're right, Blair," Simon began, "you're the all knowing Einstein around here and I'm just a lowly police captain who barely understands what's going on in his own head, let alone being able to relate to others. Does that about cover it?"

Making a sound of great frustration, Blair got up and started pacing back and forth. "Geez, man, you are like, so irritating!"

Banks smiled, watching the animated young man gesture wildly in the air, as if trying to snatch words out of thin air. Walking into the kitchen he put some water on to heat for some coffee, this had the potential of turning into a long night. "This whole miserable weekend started when I met Cassie for lunch on Saturday." That was a relatively decent place to begin.

"I heard about the transfer offer. It's a good opportunity for her."

"Yeah, tell me something I don't know." Blair said bitterly. "I mean, when she was telling me she couldn't stay still. She was literally vibrating with excitement. Not that I can blame her for that or anything. I just sort of wish that she'd at least considered how I felt having this jammed down my throat. It's like she's forgotten the past year or something. She didn't just get over me, she practically vaulted over me." His voice was rising in volume. "Maybe our time together didn't mean anything at all."

Simon coughed, "You don't honestly believe that, do you?"

"I thought that it did, but now I'm just not sure at all. I thought we had something special, at least it was special to me."

"You know Blair, just because Cassie is leaving, it doesn't have to mean that your relationship is ending."

"Yeah, whatever." He pouted.

"Stop whining, Sandburg," Simon all but ordered, "do you have a crystal ball? You can't predict the future. You don't know how things are going to turn out. Maybe, just maybe, you'll both change. Maybe you'll decide that you don't have to live in the same city to be head over heels in love with each other."

"Maybe," Blair said evenly, "but..."

"Finish your sentence."

"I ... I just don't think there's going to be a future for us." Blair's voice was soft. "Cassie dropped that little nugget of information on me yesterday morning." He didn't sound angry, simply sad.

Simon just stood there, unsure of what there was to say. "What did you say to that?"

"What could I say?" Getting up to pour two mugs of coffee. "I mean, I would have to be a major jerk if I tried to guilt her into staying here. I just answered her by being neutral. Whatever she said, I went along with it ... it was just easier that way."

"And that's how you ended things?"

"Pretty much. There was nothing more to be said really. We hugged and then she turned and walked away from me, forever."

"I think that you did the right thing," Banks said, regarding the young man in front of him, "letting her go, I mean."

Blair snorted. Cassie was able to part from him easily, without even saying goodbye. He hadn't been able to say it as well, but simply because he wasn' t able to find the words. Instead, he had just let his mind go blank, numbing his emotions, hoping it would hurt less, but it didn't.

"Can we please change the subject?" Blair pleaded, ducking into the kitchen to rummage around in the fridge for some dinner as he felt his stomach rumbling. He hadn't had breakfast, lunch had been forgotten as well, in his rush to get to the hospital. Pulling the tops off of some of the tupperware containers he sniffed the contents inside ... "Ewwwww." He muttered, noticing some green fuzzy mold that had started to grow. Tossing the leftovers into the garbage he decided to re-heat the stir fry from last Thursday as he rinsed out the container.

"That depends, Sandburg." Simon told him. Blair's face sported a confused expression as he fished out a pot to heat up some water for the rice.

"Huh?"

"Changing the subject. That depends on whether or not what's happening between you and Jim right now has anything to do with what's going on with you and Cassie. Does it?"

Blair sighed, he'd told Simon most of the details so far, why not finish the story? "Yeah, this whole nightmare is pretty much the root of the problem. Instead of getting angry, I just spent the weekend wallowing in self pity." He paused to add the rice to the now boiling water. "Anyhow, you know Jim, his first impulse is to solve every problem that comes his way, only he didn't know what was wrong, just that the problem involved a friend of his."

Simon nodded, "I know it's difficult for Jim to just sit back and do nothing. He's used to facing things head on, it's what he was trained to do Blair. And, by the way, you are not just a simple friend to Jim. If it were necessary, he'd protect you from anything and anyone, even me. You're precious to him, Blair ... sometimes I think he'd even choose you over Steven. I mean, after all, you're the one he's closest too. Sandburg, he shares his life with you, including his hopes and his fears. You took one of the coldest SOB's in Cascade and walked through that barrier he had around his life to keep everyone out like it wasn't even there. Jim trusts you, Blair..." He stopped, a little concerned to see an unusual expression on the grad student's face.

"I don't deserve that trust." He said simply, sadly.

"Wrong." Simon replied, matter-of-factly. "In all the time you and Jim have been together he's come damn close to losing you on countless occasions. You could have turned your back on him, found a safer way to get those three little letters added to your name, but you didn't, Sandburg; you stayed right by his side. You've handled his senses just like you were born to do it."

Blair laughed bitterly. "Give me a break. What I do understand about Jim's senses probably wouldn't fill a coffee cup. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but most of the time I was just bull shitting my way through things, and Jim has to have known that."

"Oh, probably," Simon agreed, "but let's face facts here Blair. Even when Jim thought that he was going insane, you somehow came up with information that helped him put his life back together. Jim may hate all the little tests you give him to work on his abilities, but he can't deny that he's always gaining more control as a result of them." He stopped, collecting his thoughts. "Blair, you're his partner, his best friend, his guide, and one of the few people in the world that Jim would willingly lay down his life for."

"But I wasn't there when he needed me Simon. It all comes down to that. How does Jim put it, 'I let my anger take me out of the game'." He paused, stirring the rice.

"What about Alex?" Simon asked quietly.

"What about her?"

"You're not the only person who's ever made an error in judgment, Blair. As I recall, Jim decided to throw you out of here instead of trusting you."

"Yeah, but that was only because he was feeling kind of territorial. Having Alex so close brought up some of the primal, aggressive, survival drives he has."

Simon raised an eyebrow, obviously amused with the reply. Can Jim really do any wrong in your eyes, Blair? "So, let me get this straight. You're beating yourself up over a mistake, but at the same time you're casually dismissing the things that Jim has done?"

"Simon, he could have died."

"What the hell did you think almost happened to you before we found you floating in that fountain, Sandburg?" He was a little sorry he'd said it, having brought those memories back to the surface again, but damn it, Blair wasn't being very reasonable.

Blair crossed his arms and ran his hands up and down as if to shake off a chill as he recalled the events of that terrifying morning. He'd tried to scream, but his mouth and nose had been filled with cold, chlorinated water. His lungs had almost threatened to explode from the lack of oxygen as Alex had held him down firmly. As he had begun to black out it was then that he had pleaded, no, begged, for his sentinel to be there for him, to save him, but as everything was going black, and Jim still hadn't appeared, he had given up."

"Blair, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I just..." his voice trailed off.

"I'm sorry to bring all this back for you Blair, but..."

"Every single bit of rational thought told me that my life was over ... that Jim had really given up on me." Blair said gently, shivering slightly.

"What about the irrational thoughts?"

Blair smiled weakly, "My irrational thoughts made me believe, deep down inside, that Jim would save me somehow." Simon returned the smile.

The rest of the evening passed relatively easily. Since their conversation earlier, Blair had been in a particularly quiet mood. Now he was sitting at the table, nursing his third cup of coffee. Yawning, he stood and carried the mug into the kitchen, emptying it into the sink. "Simon, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I'm really wiped out."

"Yeah, me too." He got up from the couch, walking over to the front door. "Blair, you are going to be okay, right?"

Blair nodded, "I'm going to be fine, Simon." Banks grinned inwardly at the note of conviction in the younger man's voice.

He wasn't prepared as the grad student suddenly grabbed him, wrapping his arms so tightly around the tall captain that it almost hurt to breathe. "Thanks ... you know, just for listening, and everything." He said softly, dropping his arms.

"Anytime, Blair. I'm always here for you, okay?"

"Yeah, I know." He smiled.

After Simon left, Blair locked the door and flipped off the lights downstairs. He started to turn towards his own bedroom, but instead, he changed his mind and headed upstairs to Jim's room. Tonight, he wanted to be as close to his sentinel as possible. Shrugging out of his clothes, he snuggled under the covers of the bed. Unable to sleep he tossed and turned for a while. Then, he got up to grab a pencil and some paper. After writing furiously for about half an hour, he curled up on top of the bed again, snoring lightly as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He was at the hospital early the next morning, anxious to see his best friend. Knocking lightly he pushed open the door. Jim looked up from the book he'd been reading, a wide smile on his face. He waved a greeting, since the tube in his throat wasn't scheduled to be removed until later that afternoon. Reaching over to the small table beside his bed, he picked up the pad of paper and pen that one of the night nurses had so thoughtfully given to him.

"Are you okay?" He wrote, looking for the reaction in Blair's eyes. He'd been waiting all night long to see his guide.

Blair bit his lower lip. Here you are, lying in yet another hospital bed, and you're more concerned about my well being. "I'm fine, Jim, really." Blair said, honestly. "Look, man, I didn't mean all of that stuff I said to you before ... I was just angry. I'm so sorry that I treated you like that."

"So, we're all right?" Jim scribbled.

Blair smiled, "I think so." For the second time this week it seemed as though a weight was being lifted off of his shoulders.

"How are you feeling?"

Jim grimaced slightly. Having a punctured lung was no picnic. The doctor had given him something called an incentive spirometer which he had to blow into about 10 times every hour to see how hard he could breathe out, and he hated it. Mainly because it hurt like hell to breathe in deeply at all. "I'll live." He wrote down, jokingly.

The doctor had also encouraged him to get out of bed, or at least sit up, since it would help his lungs to expand even more. "Will you help me sit up?" He wrote.

Blair looked worried. "Are you sure it's OK? Won't it hurt?"

Jim smiled. "Doctor's orders, Chief."

"Yeah, well, when was the last time you actually listened to a doctor?" Blair laughed softly, pressing the button that would raise the head of Jim's bed, so that he could sit up, per the doctor's instructions.

Reaching into his pocket he retrieved a folded piece of paper, tentatively handing it over to Jim. "I had trouble sleeping last night, and then ... well, just read it please."

Curious, Jim took the piece of paper, unfolding it. While he read, his lips moved silently to the words.

"I hold you close to me.
Feel the breath of you, and the wonder of you
And remember a time
Without you
But only as one would remember
A bleak and distant nightmare
And you shudder in your sleep
Do you share the memory with me of dark times past?
And you smile
Do you share the memory of times to come?
The future holds such promise
And just as I cannot imagine how I survived the past
Without you I cannot imagine a future
Without you."

After working up the nerve to look at Jim he was shocked at the raw intensity of emotion he saw in the sentinel's eyes. "This is beautiful, Blair." He scribbled quickly.

Blair smiled shyly, a little redness creeping into his cheeks. "You ... you really liked it? Really?" Jim nodded, fighting a battle of wills against the tears that were threatening to slip out from under his control.

"I thought it might have been a little over the top ... you know, too mushy ... but you really liked it?"

Jim nodded, a single tear escaping his control. "I loved it." He assured his best friend. "Can I keep it, please?"

Blair's eyes shone with happiness. "Just as long as you swear you won't ever show it to another soul, Jim."

"Deal." Jim wrote. Smiling, and with care, he folded the piece of paper again and tucked it securely into the cover of the book he'd been reading.

Very aware of his injuries, Jim pulled Blair down a little, giving him the best hug he could muster. "I love you, man."

Jim raised an amused eyebrow. "Not like that. Geez, Jim, get your mind out of the gutter already!" He laughed. "Besides, you are so not my type. I just meant that I feel closer to you than anyone." He could tell from Jim's expression that it was mutual.

The nurse from yesterday poked her head inside the room, quietly observing the two men for a second before she was noticed. A couple of orderlies followed her inside. Looking slightly sheepish, Blair smiled at them.

"Good morning." she said cheerfully, walking over to check Jim's vital signs, which met with her approval. "Everything seems to check out, Mr. Ellison. Whenever you're ready, we can remove the suction tube."

"I don't know," Blair teased, "this is the first time he's really ever been quiet. I kind of like it." He laughed as Jim gently elbowed him in the ribs.

"This shouldn't take very long. Probably about half an hour." The nurse said as the two orderlies carefully lifted Ellison into a wheelchair and took him out of the room, passing Simon. "What's going on?" He sounded slightly worried.

"Relax, Simon." Blair told him. "They're just taking the tube out of his throat."

Banks grinned. "Already? I was just starting to enjoy the peace and quiet." Jim shook his head at the remark, causing Blair and Simon to both erupt with laughter.

They were drawing attention, so Simon pulled the young man aside. "You look like you could use some coffee, Sandburg."

Blair smiled. "Yeah, I do feel kind of wiped out," he replied, "I just kind of had other things on my mind than making coffee this morning." He tossed a lingering glance in the direction that the orderlies had just taken Jim. "I guess we could head down to the cafeteria."

Simon shuddered. "How about the coffee place down the street instead?"

Blair laughed. "I thought everything tasted like Maxwell House to your sensitive taste buds anyhow."

"Sensitive is right," Simon grinned, "and I'm not going to subject my taste buds to that kind of inhumane torture. I'm going to the Dunkin' Donuts down the street. Do you want to come along?"

Blair shook his head. "No thanks, Simon. I want to be here when Jim gets back."

"Well, can I bring you back anything?"

"No, it's OK. Thanks for the offer though."

"All right," Banks smiled, turning to leave, "then I guess I'll see you in a little while."

"Yeah, later." Blair replied, settling back down into the bedside chair.

He was still sitting there when Jim was wheeled back into the room, seemingly lost in thought. His eyes lit up when he saw his best friend. "Hey, Jim."

Jim opened his mouth to reply, but with his dry throat, he could only croak out a response. "Hey, Chief."

"I'll be right back." Blair exclaimed as the orderlies were helping the sentinel back into bed, grabbing the pitcher on the dresser. He ran down the hall to the bathroom to fill it up, pouring Jim a glass of water when he returned.

"Thanks." Jim said grateful for the soothing moisture.

"No problem, man. Can I get you anything else? More water, extra pillows?"

Jim shook his head. "Not really, Chief. All I'd really appreciate is some peace and quiet. I'm exhausted."

"Oh, OK." He tried to hide the disappointment in his voice as he turned to leave.

Jim grabbed his hand. "No, Chief," he mumbled sleepily, "don't leave."

Blair nodded, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "If that's what you want," a nod, "then I'll be here when you wake up, I promise."

"'Kay." Jim sighed, listening to the gentle rhythm of Blair's heartbeat as the sleep medication kicked in.

It was noon by the time Simon came back. He knocked softly before entering the room. "How is he?"

Blair started to answer, but was cut off. "He, can speak for himself." Jim said in a raspy voice, slowly opening his eyes, glaring at the tall captain in annoyance.

"Sorry about that, Jim." Simon looked a little sheepish. "I didn't mean to disturb you."

Jim grinned. "It's all right. How long have I been out anyhow?"

Blair checked his watch. "About five hours now."

Jim chuckled. "Then, why the hell do I still feel tired?"

"Your body has been through one hell of a nasty ordeal, Jim. It's going to take a while for you to recover." Blair reminded him lightly.

"Thank you, Dr. Sandburg." Jim laughed, wincing at the pain the movement caused as a nurse buzzed into the room carrying a tray.

"Lunch time!" She announced with gusto, setting the tray down on a little swinging platform. Blair and Simon helped their friend into a comfortable sitting position and then the nurse swung the tray over his lap.

"Speaking of lunch," Simon began, "have you bothered to eat anything yet, Sandburg?"

Blair shook his head. "I had other things on my mind, Simon. Food was the last thing I was thinking about."

Jim gently cuffed him in the arm. "Well, start thinking about it, Chief. Unless you want to collapse from having no energy." He nodded over towards the bed opposite his own. "Oh, look, there's a vacancy here for you, too."

Blair rolled his eyes. "Funny, Jim. Although, if you really want some company..."

"Oh, God, no." Jim smiled. "Chief, it's OK, really. I'll still be here when you get back, and it'll do you good to get out of here for a bit."

Blair laughed. "OK, point taken. You want some peace and quiet, I've got it." He turned to look at Simon. "Why don't we just go grab something in the caf?"

Simon shuddered. "Blair, I loathe eating hospital food. What about that new salad bar that just opened up?"

Blair thought about it for a moment. "I don't know, Simon. I don't want to be gone too long..."

Simon laughed. "Blair, I'm not talking about a seven course meal or anything. Just a simple lunch, we'll be back in plenty of time to check up on Jim. Come on, I'm buying."

"Well, since you put it that way." Blair laughed.

He patted Jim's shoulder. "I guess I'll see you in a little while, OK?"

"OK, Chief." The sentinel chuckled inwardly as he watched his two closest friends disappear out of the door to his room.

They made some small talk as they ate, Blair providing most of the conversation. Simon chuckled to himself. Blair was so fun to watch when he got like this. He just got a 'kid in the candy store' expression on his face as he spoke about any given subject at the drop of a hat.

As they were leaving, Banks picked up a small caesar salad and vegetable pita to bring back to a certain someone in the hospital. He laughed, putting a hand up to silence the young man. These long, complicated explanations always drove him right up the wall. Blair probably knew that, but when he got like this, you couldn't keep him down if you attached lead weights around his ankles.

"Stop, Blair, please." Simon grinned.

Blair laughed. "All I'm saying is that..." He stopped as he turned, suddenly finding himself in the path of a gunman who was just stumbling out of a nearby store. Simon drew his own weapon, but not quickly enough to make the first shot.

In the hospital, Jim's eyes snapped open, an unheard yelp of alarm escaping from his lips. His right arm was burning. Although he didn't quite understand why, or how, he knew that it was somehow connected to his guide.

His training kicked in and he threw himself at Blair, knocking the anthropologist to the ground. "You, OK, Blair?"

"Yeah, yeah, fine. Go." Blair coughed, Simon had knocked the wind out of him when he slammed into him. Banks nodded, turning to chase after the thief.

It was a relatively simple bust, he didn't even break a sweat. The man was half blitzed, and seemingly incapable of giving Simon a real challenge. Reaching into his pocket he took out his handcuffs and secured the man's wrists.

"I called it in," Blair told him, rubbing his right arm, "dispatch is sending someone out."

Simon looked at him, reaching over to gently prod Blair's forearm. "I'm OK." Blair assured him. "He just grazed me, that's all."

He made a show of checking for other injuries as they waited for the promised uniforms to arrive. "Uh, Simon? Thanks, man." He smiled. "I've been saying that a lot lately, huh?"

"I'm just glad you're OK." Simon told him, mentally restrianing himself from choking the intoxicated middle-aged man for what could have happened. As Simon spoke to the two officers, he watched as Blair pretended to listen, momentarily allowing himself to become lost in thought. You could have been killed just now. Simon thought to himself, half pushing, half throwing the handcuffed prisoner into the arms of one of the uniformed men. Simon shivered slightly, knowing that if that had happened, Jim would probably have eaten his own piece.

"Simon? Simon?" Blair gently shook the captain, calling his thoughts back into reality. "Where were you just now, man? Is everything OK?"

Simon shrugged, "It's fine." Changing the subject. "We should be getting back to the hospital Sandburg." Blair checked his watch, raising a surprised eyebrow at the amount of time that had gone by.

"What happened?" Jim blurted out in a raspy voice just as Blair was walking into the room. He could feel Jim's eyes burning into him. "Blair, answer me!" His throat was burning as his voice rose in volume.

Taken aback, Blair stared at his friend for a moment. "Jim, how could you possibly know...?"

"I just knew, Blair." Jim interrupted. "What the hell happened? Are you OK?"

Blair's mind was racing furiously. "I'm fine, Jim. Honestly. There was a little ... situation after Simon and I finished lunch, but it's over now."

"A situation?" Jim repeated hoarsely.

Blair walked around to the nightstand, pouring a glass of water. "Yeah, it's nothing to worry about, Jim, OK. Please calm down." He held out the glass.

"All right, fine, I'm calm." Jim coughed, swallowing the soothing liquid gratefully.

Blair was practically bouncing with excitement. He'd always believed that he and Jim shared a unique bond, but this was definitely an interesting new development. "You sensed something was wrong?"

Jim nodded. "I knew you were in danger. I just..." he sighed, "my arm felt like it was burning, and it was almost like my heart was being cut out of my body." He glanced over at his guide.

Blair was trembling slightly, gently fingering the small hole that the bullet had left in his shirt. Releasing the breath he hadn't realized that he'd been holding he returned the gaze, topaz eyes sparkling. "Jim, I really don't know what to say, man. This is so incredible. It's a whole new dimension to your abilities..." Ellison laughed gently to himself as his guide prattled on, barely containing his excitement.

In her room, Megan was propped up against some pillows, slowly investigating the items in her lunch. "Some green stuff, maybe peas ... maybe." They were more of a gooey paste than spheres. Muttering to herself, she cautiously speared a forkful. "Yep, peas." Moving on, she tried some of what she thought was mashed potatoes. Actually, it was tapioca pudding, which was about as appealing to her as chewing on a lump of vaseline. Gagging and making a face of disgust she spit the mouthful out into her napkin as Simon walked into the room, raising an amused eyebrow.

"That good, huh?" He laughed as she stared daggers at him.

"It's vile." She coughed, swallowing some orange juice, trying to get the taste out of her mouth with only some success.

Banks grinned, displaying the bag from the salad bar. "Lucky for you, I anticipated just such a situation."

Megan smiled, happily placing her lunch tray on the nightstand. "This is really sweet of you, Simon, but aren't you going to have anything?"

"Oh, I've all ready eaten. Sandburg and I tried out that new salad bar by the university." She caught a glimpse of a different emotion as it briefly flickered across his face ... fear.

"Is that so? Did you have a good time?"

"The lunch you mean?"

"In general."

"Well, I suppose Blair and I had a good time, although I had no idea what the hell he was talking about sometimes..." He trailed off.

Megan sighed, wanting him to get to the point. "Simon, I'm getting the impression that something else happened besides lunch."

"There was a slight problem downtown. It's nothing for you to worry about sweetheart."

She frowned at him. "How do you define 'a slight problem' Simon?"

"Some drunk tried to rob a store downtown but Simon stopped him." Both turned at the sound of Blair's voice in the doorway.

"How long have you been standing there?" Simon asked.

"Long enough." Blair replied with a 'cat that ate the canary' grin. "Did I just hear you call Megan, sweetheart?" He nearly fell over when he saw something completely unexpected. Simon was blushing.

"Why are you asking obvious questions, Blair?" Megan grinned, cocky as hell. She reached up and pulled Simon's face down to hers, pressing her mouth against his.

"Well, I'll be damned," Simon said, sucking air into his lungs gratefully as Megan released him, "Blair's actually speechless."

"Not ... not really," Blair finally managed to get out, "I'm just a little surprised, that's all. How long has this been going on?"

"About four days now." Simon said happily.

"FOUR?" Blair exclaimed.

Banks smiled, at first saying nothing, trying to think of the best way to put his thoughts. "Blair, when Joan and I split up, it was like I was cut in half. Ever since I've just been looking for someone who has the part of myself that I've been missing." He looked down, dark eyes shining with love. "I found it with Megan. It's like I've known her all of my life. She's a part of me, and I'm a part of her," he interlaced his fingers with the smaller hand, "we just... fit."

He spoke with such conviction and such certainty that Blair suddenly felt out of place. The two of them were so engrossed with what they saw in each other's eyes that neither of them noticed Blair slipping out of the door.

"Love at first sight." Blair mused to himself, in no particular hurry to get back to Jim's room. It had been like that with Cassie, but he'd overanalysed it to death. She'd just wanted him to follow his impulses, but he had to rationalize everything. "How could any romance stand up to being picked apart like that?" He muttered.

"Don't be so damn hard on yourself." Jim croaked from his bed. Blair looked up sheepishly.

"You heard that?" Jim rolled his eyes. "Sorry, stupid question, man."

"Blair, I was hoping you were finished beating yourself up over this."

Blair hesitated, looking very vulnerable. "Jim, you know that I've had other women before Cassie. And she's had other men," he gestured, attempting to sum up all of the emotions he was feeling, "but it just goes deeper than that. At least it did for me. I mean, for once it went beyond just being something physical."

Jim smiled. "I think I understand. You mean that you've had sex before, but..."

"Well ... yes, I mean..." Blair couldn't remember when he'd felt quite so embarrassed. "It's just that before Cassie came along, sex was always about the pleasure, you know? Never much of anything else. Even when I thought I was in love, like with Maya, it was only superficial, adding some additional excitement to the passion of the moment." He shrugged, relaxing into a nearby chair.

"So, are you in love now?"

Sandburg shook his head. His mind was racing furiously, making it difficult to articulate how he was truly feeling. "I know that for once I didn't mind not being in control." He was like Jim in the regard that he liked knowing, and being in control of, whatever he was doing at any given moment. Loving someone, really loving someone, meant giving up some of that control. With Cassie, he'd been genuinely willing to relinquish some control, to trust her. Now, that trust had been shattered, and here he was, still trying to pick up the broken pieces of his heart.

Am I in love now? Blair asked himself. He couldn't remember a time when having to say goodbye had hurt this much. Every time he closed his eyes now he pictured her face. She was constantly in his thoughts, making it nearly impossible to concentrate. He looked over at Jim, topaz eyes tinged with sadness. "I love her, Jim. I love her so much."

Jim swallowed past the lump in his throat. It was killing him to see his best friend hurting this much. "Blair, I ... I wish I knew what I could do to make this easier for you."

Sandburg smiled a sad little smile. "I'll be OK, Jim." I hope. he added mentally. "I just need some time."

Jim reached over to cover Blair's hand with his own. "Blair, I don't know how much this means, thanks to the way I over reacted before, but I want you to know that I'll be here for you. If you need anything, anything at all. Even if you just need to talk."

"It means a lot, Jim." Blair replied confidently.

He smiled, in complete awe of the friendship he had found with this man. He'd been so jazzed when Jim had decided to come to his office, that the sentinel would trust him enough to let some unknown graduate student work with him. At first, it had been only about Jim's senses, the man had built up some kind of strange armour around himself, intent on not letting anyone get too close. Then, things had changed. He'd started to notice the subtle difference in the way Jim behaved around him when Lash had kidnapped him. Jim shot that psychopath five times. I think you put a few extra bullets in there for me. He thought to himself. Afterwards, you stayed right by my side, reassuring me while the drug wore off. You told me that everything would be all right because I was home.

"Blair?" Jim's voice brought his thoughts back to the present. "Where did you just disappear to, Chief?" He laughed softly.

"I was just thinking about when we first met, about Lash ... about a lot of stuff man." Jim quirked a curious eyebrow as Blair continued. "I thought I was going to die ... but then you showed up, and it was almost like I knew that everything would be all right, man. You handled your fear so well, Jim. God, I was so envious of you for that. I mean, I kept having flashbacks, waking up screaming, but you didn't say anything, you just kept whispering to me. You ... you told me that everything would be all right because I was home now, that I was safe. You actually used the 'h' word, and it just blew me away, Jim. I found my first real home with you. I've lived in so many places, but none of them ever came close to the security and permanence I have now."

Something in Jim's eyes almost seemed to beckon to him. "Blair, I don't know what your life would have been like if we hadn't met. But, I know what mine would have been like." He stopped, gathering his thoughts. "You mean so much to me, Chief. I wouldn't have been willing to admit it to you before, but I was terrified when I realized that Lash had you." His voice softened. "I thought that I was going to lose you."

Blair laughed gently. "Well, like it or not man, you're stuck with me now ... you're my blessed protector, remember?"

Jim nodded, "I remember, Blair. And it's something I take extremely seriously."

Sandburg shook his head in amazement. "What gives man, you never talk about your feelings."

"Some things," he began, locking eyes with Blair as he continued, "someone, is just worth it to me."

Blair raised a hand to brush away the single tear that had slipped out from under his control. He didn't know what he'd done to deserve the absolute trust Jim had placed in him, but he'd spend the rest of his life trying to be worthy of it.

EPILOGUE

It had taken about a week and a half, but finally, Jim Ellison was declared well enough to return home, providing he took it easy for another few weeks.

"Sandburg, I can do this, you know." Jim scolded lightly, his smile indicating that he wasn't all that angry as Blair helped him out of the truck.

"Yeah, I know, you're not an invalid. I just want to help." He stopped, summoning up his best authoritative voice. "And you're going to let me help you, got it? You will not be pulling any macho crap with me, Jim. You are supposed to stay off of your feet for at least the next three weeks. If you need something, I will get it. If something needs to be done, I'll do it. I won't put up with any lame excuses, man."

"Sandburg, aren't you taking on a little too much here? I mean, you have classes..."

"...I'll get someone to cover for me." Blair countered, putting the hand that wasn't supporting Jim's waist on his hip. "What did I just say about excuses?"

Jim laughed, wincing at the pain the movement caused. "What did I just say about excuses?" He mocked Blair perfectly, causing the guide's stoic face to falter a bit with a smile of his own.

"You're a sentinel, not a damn myna bird, Jim." He shot back as they reached the door to the loft. With one hand he supported his friend, and with the other he fumbled around in his pocket for his keys.

Swinging the door open, Blair helped his friend over to the couch. Jim sat down with a soft grunt, grateful to be off his feet for the time being. Blair moved back to the door, swinging it shut and tossing his keys into the nearby wicker basket. Then, rubbing his hands together, he walked into the kitchen. "I know all of that delicious hospital food will be hard to top man, but I'll give it a shot. Are you hungry?"

"Starving."

Blair pursed his lips together, remembering the doctor's orders that Jim was not to have anything too heavy this soon after coming home. "How does some pasta sound to you? I have this great recipe for the sauce too, veggies, a little bit of spice ... I guarantee you'll love it."

"Sounds great, Chief." Jim smiled, happy to be home.

"So, did you hear the news about Simon?" Blair said, filling a pot with some water for the pasta.

"What news?" Curious.

"He's hooked up with someone."

"Really?" Jim raised an eyebrow. "Anyone I know?"

Blair laughed. "Does the name, Megan Connor, ring any bells, Jim?"

"Connor?" Jim repeated in disbelief.

"I know," Blair smiled, "I wouldn't have believed it either if I hadn't heard him call her 'sweetheart' with my own ears."

Jim shook his head. "What is that man thinking?"

Blair sighed. "Jim, you didn't hear him talk about her. He's really in love with her. The moment they met, they just ... knew. So, who are we to speculate about what's going to happen?"

"You have a point, Chief." Jim smiled, suddenly feeling an uncontrollable need to relieve himself. Standing to his feet, he inhaled deeply as pain sliced through his body. Blair was instantly at his side.

"I think those pain meds they gave me at the hospital are wearing off."

"Jim, what are you doing?" Blair sounded annoyed. He checked his watch. "You're not supposed to have any more medication for about an hour, man. Just sit down and try and relax, all right?"

"I can't." Jim said sheepishly.

Blair did not look amused. "Why not?"

"Because," Jim chuckled, "I have to go to the bathroom."

"Oh." Blair replied, feeling slightly foolish. "Um ... OK ... we can do this."

"We?" Jim laughed.

"Well, OK, you can handle the mechanics, man. I'll just help you get to the right spot. Is that all right with you?" Laughing.

"It's a deal, Sandburg." Taking great care, Blair helped Jim over to the bathroom, waiting patiently outside for the return trip to the couch.

Daryl Banks sat facing his father and Megan, his face contorted with anger. "But, you and mom are finally getting along again!" He yelled, looking daggers at Connor. "You're supposed to love her, not this ... this bitch." He finished, averting his eyes.

For the first time in his life, Simon felt an almost overwhelming urge to hit his son. "Watch your mouth, Daryl. You may dislike Megan, but you will respect her." He said, jaw spasming.

"Daryl," Megan began tentatively, "I'm not trying to replace your mother. I could never do that, but I would like us to be friends. Do you think that's possible?"

"Not flippin' likely." Daryl muttered under his breath, refusing to look at her.

Megan tried to hide her disappointment, but her eyes betrayed her. "Maybe, after you've had some time..."

"NO!" Daryl yelled angrily, glaring at her.

"What's your problem, Daryl?" Megan shot back at him. "Is it because I'm white? Is that why you're being such a hardass about this?"

"I couldn't care less if you were purple." Daryl snapped, getting up and storming over to the phone.

"I'm calling mom." He said angrily. "I want to go home, now." He would have driven himself home, but he'd left his car at home and simply walked to his father's after school.

Simon closed his eyes, drawing in a calming breath. "If you want to leave, that's fine. I'll drive you back to your mom's."

He walked over to his son, laying his hands on the teen's shoulders. "Son, I'm sorry that this is upsetting you. But, you have to accept that your mother and I are not going to reconcile. She's moving on, and I need to as well. Megan makes me very happy. Can't you at least try to accept our relationship?"

Daryl looked into the pleading eyes, ashamed of his actions, but unsure if he was willing to picture his father with anyone else but his mother. "I'll try." He relented, pulling away from his father and hanging up the phone. Saying nothing more he walked over to the stairs.

"Daryl?" Simon called after him.

"I've got a lot of homework to do." The teen lied.

"What about dinner?"

"I'm not really hungry."

"All right." Bank's sighed, watching his son climb the stairs.

"I love you." He called up after him.

"Yeah, whatever." Daryl muttered, disappearing into his room.

As the door closed, Megan sighed, turning determined eyes on Simon. "He'll come around." She said, walking slowly towards him, cupping his face in her hands. "I'm sure of it."

Simon leaned in to kiss her. "I'm glad to hear you say that." He said softly, toying with a lock of hair. "I was afraid that you might..."

"You were afraid that I was going to give up on this relationship before it even had a chance, right?" Simon nodded in agreement. "Well ... ~kiss~ ... put that idea out of your head right now ... ~kiss~ ... I'm not going to give you up just because Daryl is having problems with our relationship."

"That's very reassuring." Simon said, deepening the kiss.

As they parted, he suddenly looked a little unsure. "Do, you want to stay?"

Megan caressed his cheek. "More than anything, Simon. But, I think we'll have plenty of time to be together. We don't need to rush into anything."

He smiled. "At least you're not saying never."

Megan raised an amused eyebrow, laughing lightly. "Never, is not in my vocabulary, Simon. I know that you're the man I want to be with ... I just want us to wait for a little bit longer before we get that intimate."

He silenced her with another kiss. "You don't have to explain yourself to me. I'm more than willing to wait for you ... for however long is necessary." His voice softened. "I love you Megan Connor."

"I love you too." She purred in response, melting into his embrace again.

Standing in the airport terminal, he couldn't help but feel lost in the swarm of people. "You didn't have to do this, Blair." Cassie told him. The grad student had driven her to the airport.

"I know. I just wanted to do this, OK?" Actually, he'd just wanted to see her one last time before the plane took her out of his life forever.

They walked in silence over to the boarding area. "Blair," Cassie began, "I'm sorry that things turned out the way they did. I never wanted to hurt you. I ... I..." She had wanted to say "I love you", but she found it impossible to get the words out. Blair Sandburg had been there for her when she needed a friend the most, and from that friendship they'd both discovered feelings for each other.

It had nearly killed her to lie to this young man, telling him that she didn't think they had a future, when in reality, she loved him more than anything. They loved each other deeply, but even love might not have been able to bridge the distance between them forever. She couldn't stand the idea that Blair might one day resent her for leaving. It was simply easier to try and make a clean break.

She fought back the tears that were threatening to spill out of her eyes. "I'll never forget you." She whispered, kissing him softly on the lips.

"I'll never forget you, either, Cass." He said softly, sadly. One last time he pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her.

"I love you." He murmured softly, stroking her hair. "Please, don't forget that."

"I won't." She promised, closing her eyes in a vain attempt to commit the feel of his arms to memory. Pulling away, she looked into his eyes. The hurt she saw there broke her heart, but she wasn't able to say those four little words: "I love you, too." that she knew he wanted to hear most of all, that would just be leading him to false hopes.

Taking her carry on bag, she disappeared into the terminal. Slouching into her seat on the plane, she swallowed the lump in her throat. Her control shattered, she let the tears fall unchecked down her face as they taxied down the runway.

Blair stood for a long time, even after the plane had long since disappeared, his thoughts jumbled and confused. "Goodbye, Cassie." He said, his voice low. Slowly, he walked back to his car.

Jim was waiting as the grad student returned to the loft. "Blair? Are you OK?"

"No." Blair admitted honestly, his voice shaky. He turned away to hide his embarrassing emotions.

Ellison walked over, putting his hands on the guide's shoulders. "Blair, I wish I could fix this for you." He said softly.

"I'll be OK." Blair stammered. He tried to pull away.

"It's all right to cry, Chief." Jim offered, catching Blair's eyes. "I know what it would feel like to lose you. You're the most precious person in my life."

"Go ahead," Ellison said gently, "just let it out, Chief."

Blair's smaller body began to shake as he let the tears stream down his face. Jim simply held him, murmuring gently.

Several minutes later, his body quieted down as he pulled away. Dragging his sleeve across his puffy red eyes, Blair averted his eyes. "Sorry about that, man." He knew how the sentinel disliked overt displays of emotion.

Jim smiled at him. "You don't have to apologize Blair. Sometimes, it just helps to let things out instead of keeping everything inside."

"So, why don't you ever take your own advice?" Blair said weakly, a tiny smile creeping onto his face.

"Chief, please," Jim laughed, "one problem at a time!"

THE END

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