Thanks to everyone at the SA list who is constantly encouraging each other to write. Thanks to Shallan once again for her excellent and prompt beta job. And thanks to wolfpup for letting me into the best TS site on the web. I'm not saying goodbye, I'm just thankful to everyone for their help and encouragement.
Java Head
I can't sleep. I don't know what time it is, but it feels late. God knows I'm tired.
The accident with Golden happened about this time last night at Slick's. Sandburg's first reaction was to drag me to a doctor. Actually he wanted to take me to the hospital, but I refused. I figured, if it was normal then the GP would know and the next would be the hospital. If it was Sentinel related, the doctor wouldn't have a clue and he'd want more tests and the hospital would want more tests and I'd be right back where I was a year ago, surrounded by educated, clueless experts with no one to help me except a bouncy, naive grad student who, at this moment, is losing his own battle of sleeplessness.
I can hear him tossing and turning in his room right under mine. I can tell he's trying to be as quiet as possible, afraid of disturbing me. Poor kid. He can't even have a sleepless night in private. I never thought much about how much trouble he goes through out of consideration for my Sentinel abilities.
I sit up and sigh, staring into the blackness of the night, seeing nothing but glaring, golden light. I wince against a pounding headache. Being blind is hard work. Concentrating all day to use my hearing and touch to compensate for my eyes. I hope I won't have the chance to get used to it.
Blair says my vision should return. He's not as sure as he sounds, but he's sure enough for me. I hope he's right. He's been right about everything else concerning the Sentinel stuff.
He's scared about this. Probably even more than I am. What am I gonna do if I don't regain my vision? I'm useless as a cop without my eyesight. Even as a Sentinel. With my good record, I could have some kind of an advisory position. But I could never cope with a desk job. I'd lose my mind.
I'd probably end up as Sandburg's partner. Traveling all over the globe, using my senses to help him study new cultures or something. Wouldn't that be ironic? The Sentinel following the Guide.
I finally get up and feel my way downstairs. After hesitating a moment, I quietly walk to Blair's room and open the door.
"Chief?"
I hear the sheets rustle as he sits up. "Jim, you okay?" He sounds worried.
"I'm alright, Blair. Just can't sleep. Insomnia loves company. Wanna join me?"
"Yeah. Be right there, man."
"I'll put the water on for tea."
I walk cautiously into the kitchen and reach for the place I know the tea kettle is setting. I hear Blair come up behind me as I fill the kettle with water from the tap.
"I can do that, Jim," he offers.
"It's okay, Chief. I got it."
I hear him getting mugs and tea bags. I find the correct stove burner with my fingers and set the kettle on it, then locate the proper knob and turn it to the right. I hear the gas jet ignite and the flame pop up.
"Very good." I hear Blair smile over my shoulder.
"You've trained me well, O Master."
When the kettle whistles, I decide I'd better let Blair handle the hot water. I sit at the kitchen table and listen as he prepares the tea. I let the familiar sounds flow over me, comforting me in my unease.
Blair sets my mug in front of me, then sits down at the table across from me.
"You feeling okay, Jim? How are your eyes?"
"My eyes are the same, but I've got a headache. Probably from concentrating to push my other senses all day."
"Turn down the pain dial."
"I tried, but I just can't. Concentrating on the dials just makes my head hurt worse. Having that constant golden glare in my head doesn't help either."
"Well, I have an idea, Jim."
"Anything."
"Close your eyes and try to relax. Take a slow, deep breath and let it out, slowly."
I do as he instructs, feeling the tightness in my muscles slowly disappear. The glare in my head doesn't seem as bright now.
"Good. Good. Now, picture yourself standing on the sea shore. It's warm but not hot. You're in your bare feet. You can feel the sand between your toes. Fell the breeze on your face, Jim. Listen to the waves as they splash up to the shore. Feel the water as it gently comes up over your feet then flows back out. In. Out."
I barely notice that he's stopped his litany. I can feel the warm sun on my face. I hear the distant cry of sea gulls. I watch the sun set on the distant blue horizon in front of me. The ocean is too calm for surfing. Think I'll just watch twilight come in.
"Jim? Jim. You still here?"
I smile but keep my eyes closed. "'Course not, Chief. I'm at the beach."
I can hear the smile in his voice. "Did it work?"
"Sure it worked. But I wasn't aware that you'd followed me."
"Always, man. Always."
Finis