Disclaimer: Disclaimer? WHO needs a disclaimer? Didn't anyone tell you? I Own the guys, and I'm having WAY too much fun with then to ever give them back.
Notes: I was Beta reading Suzie's story and just got BASHED, so I had to write this. Although it's a companion piece to Suzie's story, "You'll Be In My Heart', you don't have to read that one to understand this one. This story just makes mention of that one and takes place after it. Personally, if ya haven't read her's yet, you're missing good stuff, and I'd run over and read it. Her story can be found at http://www.skeeter63.org/tslibrary/stories/suzie51.htm This story also goes out to Wendy Myers; it's a get well smarm story for her. I'd like to thank Becky Brewster and Noon for their beta skills, Cedara for helping me out, and SieraBJ for lending a hand when I was getting impatient. Ya'll are the best.
Warnings: violence
Eagle Eye
It was supposed to be a milk run. An easy little witness exchange before a long three-day weekend of camping in the mountains. But when had anything involving James Ellison and Blair Sandburg ever been easy?
The milk run turned into a shootout when the people the witness was scheduled to testify against decided that they didn't much like that idea and went about stopping it. When the shooting stopped and the smoke cleared, six of the attacking criminals no longer lived, three Federal Marshals lay dead alongside their protected witness, the surviving crooks were gone leaving a cloud of dust in their wake, and the Sentinel and his Guide were sprawled on the ground, unconscious and bleeding from gunshot wounds to the head and abdomen.
Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand
Hold it tight
He awoke with a groan, his hand going to his head and rubbing at the stickiness there. He hoped the massage would help to alleviate the pounding in his skull and clear the fuzziness from his eyes. His vision cleared and Blair began to survey the carnage around him, holding his breath... searching... for one person in particular and praying he'd find him alive.
A pain-filled moan caught his attention and, following some of his own advice, he followed the sound with his eyes trying to find the source. Catching sight of Jim, he was free to breathe again and started to make his way over to the injured detective. The wave of dizziness that assaulted him on his attempt to scramble to his feet encouraged Blair to take it a little easier getting over to Jim, so he crawled to his Sentinel's side as fast as the terrain and his throbbing head would allow.
Blair reached Jim's side and brought a hand up to check his pulse. The simple touch drew a moan from the detective and tightened the knot of worry in Blair's stomach. Blair cautiously sat up, wary of another bout of dizziness when a clear head was needed. A tautly scrunched face and trails of tears leaking from tightly closed eyes told the Guide all that he needed to know.
Blair leaned down, bringing his head next to Jim's ear, his lips almost touching the lobe, and began to whisper, "It's okay, Jim, I'm here." Blair reached down and picked up Jim's hand, his thumb rubbing in soothing circles.
Blair went about assessing the damage. He looked over the cuts and abrasions, slowly working his way down Jim's body. Blair's breath caught at the sight of Jim's stomach and the still growing patch of crimson there.
"Oh, man," Blair muttered under his breath as he gently lifted Jim's shirt away from his body for a better look at the wound.
Jim couldn't contain a low moan at the contact.
"I'm sorry, man, but I gotta have a look. You're bleeding here. I've got to see how bad it is." Another groan was Jim's only response.
Blair looked at the wound and shuddered; it was bad. Not knowing what else to do, Blair tore a large strip from his flannel shirt and pressed it to the wound, trying to stop the bleeding.
"Damn," he cursed, "I don't even know if the bullet is still in there."
"It... is," Jim supplied and then groaned again when the unexpected answer made Blair flinch.
"Geeze, sorry, man." Blair removed one of his hands and brought it up to stroke Jim's temple. "Turn the dial down a little more, Jim, I've got to keep pressure on here. You're losing a lot of blood."
"Can't, Chief..." Jim gasped, "can't find the dials."
"I know, Big Guy, just listen to my voice. Try and concentrate on the sound of my voice in your ear. Got it? Good, now find the dial and turn it down... slowly." Blair paused for a breath then continued to talk Jim through the adjustment of his dials. "Okay, Jim, is the hearing dial down now?" At Jim's nod he continued, "Okay, now we'll do touch. Can you feel my fingers on your hand? Good, now I want you to zero in on the feel of my fingers until that's all you feel. Got em? Now slowly lower that dial until you only feel it slightly. It should be a light caress against your skin, Jim, nothing more than a light caress."
The Guide continued in the calm tone as he, one by one, helped the Sentinel get all his senses under control.
I will protect you
from all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry
The senses taken care of and the wound staunched as best he could, Blair took a moment to close his eyes and rest. The light caress on his brow startled him once again. He turned and met the eyes of his worried Sentinel.
"You're hurt," Jim offered in reply to Blair's questioning look, then fingered the blood on his head again.
"Yeah, I guess they got a lucky shot in, huh?" Blair smiled self consciously.
Jim's next statement was lost as another pain robbed him of breath.
"Hey, man, just be still," Blair chastised. "Don't try and talk. You need to conserve your strength to concentrate of the dials. Besides, I can talk enough for both of us. Just listen to my voice."
Jim smiled and closed his eyes.
"Hey, Jim, man, don't relax too much. I need you to stay awake, okay? There's NO WAY I'll be able to carry you when the guys get here."
Jim opened his eyes and fought to focus them on Blair.
"Man, Jim, you'd think that we could actually go on one of Simon's milk runs and actually finish without a shoot-out or one of us being kidnapped or shot," Blair chuckled. "I think we're one of the constants in the universe: death, taxes, and Jim and Blair are gonna get into trouble whenever they have plans to go camping."
Jim laughed, then clenched Blair's jean-clad leg and closed his eyes when it brought on a spasm of pain.
"Take it easy, Jim, they'll be here soon," Blair reassured his partner, then stopped when his eyesight started to blur. "Oh, man, what a head rush."
When his sight returned to normal, he looked at Jim, whose eyes were again closed, tight with pain. Blair sighed and leaned close to Jim's ear.
"Just hold on, Jim. Please... just hold on."
For one so small
you seem so strong
My arms will hold you
keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry
As Jim lost consciousness, Blair sighed worriedly and moved a little closer to his Sentinel. Slowly, the grad student pulled off his jacket and carefully placed it over his partner, trying to preserve some of his body heat and combat the onset of shock. Blair sat very still; barely breathing as he watched over Jim and periodically took his partner's pulse.
Blair's head was throbbing and his vision shifted from normal to blurry and back again. He was getting worried. If he lost consciousness there was no telling what would happen to Jim. Blair rubbed his temples trying to ease the pain. He had to stay awake and protect his Sentinel, but it was getting harder and harder to think straight.
As his vision started to blur again, Blair moved closer to his Sentinel, almost on top of him, and lay his head on Jim's chest while being sure to keep the pressure on his wound. The Guide knew he would soon lose consciousness. He felt under himself for Jim's hand and took it into his.
"Oh, Jim..." Blair sighed, squeezing his partner's hand. "I'm so sorry...I tried..." and surrendered to the encroaching blackness.
When "the cavalry" arrived they found both partners unconscious. One of Blair's hands was still clenched over Jim's wound; his other hand clutching his partner's. The paramedics were afraid they would have to break Blair's fingers to get him to release the detective so they could stabilize him for transit.
"Wait, let me try," Simon offered. His words were met by three pairs of grateful eyes. Simon crouched down and placed a hand on Blair's shoulder. "Sandburg," he whispered, "it's okay, we're here now. The paramedics are going to take care of Jim, but you've got to let go, son. They can't help Jim unless you let them. You've protected him this long, let us help you now."
'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be in my heart, always
Blair regained consciousness abruptly, startling the young intern stitching the wound on his head.
"Jim! Jim... Where is he?! JIM!" Blair cried as he tried to get off the examination table. Suddenly, familiar arms latched onto his, attempting to prevent his escape. "NO, let me go. I have to find Jim. Jim!"
"Sandburg... Damnit, Sandburg, calm down," Simon roared as he tried to get a hold of Blair. He leaned his large frame across the examination table and the squirming grad student, pinning him to the table. "Blair, STOP. Be still before you fall off and hurt yourself more." Simon tried one last weapon to get the frantic man's attention. "Blair, if you're unconscious again, how are you going to help Jim?"
Those words finally registered with the Guide and the struggles ceased. Blair focused on Simon.
"Where's Jim? Is he okay?" Blair inquired as Simon stood up and motioned for the intern to give them some time alone.
"He's in surgery," Simon said as he rubbed the bridge of his nose with two fingers.
Simon started as Blair resumed his attempts to get down from the table.
"Simon, you've got to let me out of here," Blair pleaded as Simon's hands once again wrapped around his arms. "They don't know about Jim. Did you tell them about his drug interactions? He could come out of the anesthesia while they're still working on him. You've got to let me talk to the doctor...Please."
The Captain sighed and moved his hands up to rest on Blair's shoulders.
"Blair, Jim's been in surgery for over an hour now. You can't talk to the surgeon. Besides, it's Dr. Summers. She's worked on Jim before and knows what to expect. All you have to do is lay down and let them finish stitching you up." Simon pressed lightly on the shoulders under his hands, urging Blair to lie back. "Now come on, I'll go get the doctor and he can finish. Jim will kill me if he's out of surgery and you still haven't been stitched up yet." Simon added with a smile, trying to soothe the young man's frazzled nerves a bit.
The intern returned and went over to the medicine cabinet. "Mr. Sandburg, since you're awake I'm going to have to lightly sedate you so I can finish stitching you up. This should wear off in about an hour, okay?" The doctor moved next to Blair and helped him lie back on the table, then injected him with the needle. "Relax and I'll finish as quickly as I can."
"Simon," Blair mumbled as the drug began to take effect, "you have to be there for Jim until I can... Please..."
Simon sighed and gave Blair's shoulder a pat. "Don't worry, kid, you'll be up and about in no time."
Why can't they understand
the way we feel
They just don't trust
what they can't explain
I know we're different but
deep inside us
We're not that different at all
"You need to rest, Mr Sandburg," the nurse in ICU told Blair. "You have twelve stitches in your head-not sleeping is just going to aggravate it... make the pain worse."
Blair shifted in his chair, trying to find a comfortable position while not moving his head too much. His head hurt and moving it around too much just irritated the guys playing the tribal drums in his skull.
"No, Stacy, I'm fine. Jim needs me here and here is where I'm staying. He'll be in pain when he comes to; if I'm here it will be better. He'll need me when he wakes." Blair stated for what felt like the fourteenth time that night.
"He'll be out for several hours yet, and you need to rest if you expect to get better. If you don't, you'll be in beds next to one another." Stacy sighed and laid a hand gently on Blair's shoulder. "Blair, he won't even know you're here."
Blair shook his head, regretting it a minute later when the drums picked up the beat.
"I need to be here. He will know I'm here. He'll hear me talking to him and follow my voice back. I can rest here just as easily as I can anywhere else. If I go home, I'll just sit up or pace all night looking at the clock and wondering if Jim's awake yet." Blair leaned forward in his chair resting his head on the edge of Jim's bed. "No, I'm staying, I'll be fine. When Jim wakes up I'll go home, but not before."
The nurse sighed and shook her head. "Okay, Blair, I have to go look in on the other patients. If you're asleep when I come in to check Jim, I'm going to wake you up and make you walk around a bit. You know the drill with a concussion."
Blair lifted his head and smiled, "Thanks, Stacy, I appreciate it."
Stacy pat Blair once more on the shoulder then turned to go. Walking out of the room, she stopped in the doorway and watched as Blair began talking to his partner again. She sighed and shook her head. She didn't understand the incredible bond between the two men, but it was there, almost tangible. Stacy checked her watch as she moved on to the next cubicle. She wanted to be sure to check back into the detective's room in an hour, just to see for herself that Blair was all right.
And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
Blair Sandburg leaned against the wall in ICU, a cup of coffee in his hand, trying to be unobtrusive as the nurse checked Jim's IVs and took his stats. The nurses were usually very lenient with the fifteen minute rule where Blair was concerned. One look at his face~complete with puppy-dog eyes~ and they'd let him stay as long as he'd liked. Blair smiled at Stacy as she left the room, and he resumed his seat next to the bed.
Blair placed the coffee on the tray table and picked up Jim's hand. Being careful of the IVs protruding from it, he began to rub his thumbs across Jim's knuckles, the action soothing him more than the unconscious detective in the bed.
How'd you do it, Jim? He wondered idly. How'd you take the guy whose mantra had been 'detach with love' and somehow turn him into the man who now walks firmly attached at your side?
Everyone thinks that I'm such an open book, that I wear my heart on my sleeve, but they're so wrong. Very few see the real me. Few can make their way into my heart of hearts and you, Jim Ellison, did exactly that. People talk about how much I've changed you, but why can't they see how much letting you into my heart has changed me?
Don't listen to them
'Cause what do they know
We have each other
to have, to hold
They'll see in time
I know
Blair wiggled in his chair a bit. Having his arm lay across the bar on the bed was giving it a cramp. Blair let go of Jim's hand for a minute and lowered the bar on the side of the bed he was on. That accomplished, he moved his chair the few inches closer to the bed that the lowered bar afforded and resumed his hold on Jim's hand.
"I know you can hear me, Jim. They haven't been through this as many times as we have, they don't know what we can do. Stacy may think that you can't hear me, but I know better. I need you, Jim. When you're ready, I want you to follow my voice back here. Man, this is such a case of deja vu, only last time I was where you are and you were sitting in the chair talking to me. I can't believe it's been six months since the Tully case. We just can't ever seem to catch a break here, can we?"
Blair sighed and shifted his eyes from Jim's slack features to the dark night outside and sat back, getting comfortable until Stacy's next check of Jim's vitals.
When destiny calls you
You must be strong
I may not be with you
But you've got to holdon
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together
Blair returned to Jim's side after his last coffee run and the nurse's vital check.
"Hey, Jim, how's it going? Man, that's a stupid question, isn't it?" Blair sighed and carefully picked up the IV laden hand once again and absently caressed it with his thumb as he resumed his bedside monologue. "No one ever cared about me as much as you do, Jim, do you know that? It's funny, I went looking for my grail... for a thesis, and I found so much more. I found my destiny. I found a place to belong. The kid who'd never spent much more than a year in one place found a place to belong... a home. You gave that to me, Jim. You gave me a home and a purpose I didn't know I needed." Blair chuckled, "Man, the looks we used to get at the station when I first started hanging with you... Did you know about them? Of course you did, you're the Sentinel." Blair chuckled, "The others must have thought you'd gone crazy-Bad Ass Ellison lets a hippie witch doctor punk start following him around."
"Did you know YOU got the same looks from my friends on campus. My friends wondered why I was suddenly collaborating with the pigs. Even my advisor was puzzled. A few weeks ago he came to me... complimented me on an article I'd written and congratulated me. He said he was pleased to see the new peace I had developed, with myself and the world in general. It started me thinking. You do give me a sense of peace; I just hadn't realized it until someone else pointed it out to me. I no longer feel the need to move, to run away. It's incredibly peaceful to know you've found your place... your destiny, and to accept it."
Blair shifted in the chair and laid his head down on the bed next to their clasped hands. "My mom always used to talk about destiny... fate. She could go on for hours about making your destiny or accepting your fate. So much has changed in the years we've been together. We still get looks at the station and the university, but now they have something else in their eyes. When we're walking around joking or discussing something pertaining to your senses they look at us like... well, I can't describe it. It's kinda a look that's part confusion, part fear, and part... well, envy. Like they want what we've found but are afraid to ask for it. I'll admit, it's scary sometimes, and sometimes it's hard. But it's also SO worth it. I know we can do anything, as long as we do it together."
Blair yawned and shifted about in the chair again.
"I need you, Jim. As much as you need me for your senses, I need you, just to be me. Come back, Big Guy, I'm getting kinda lonely." Blair yawned again and closed his eyes, allowing sleep to overtake him, finally.
'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
Oh, you'll be in my heart.....
He opened his eyes, then quickly closed them again. A cacophony of sight, sound and smell sought to overwhelm him. He heard familiar sounds, smelled familiar scents, but the sounds and scents only added to the feeling and caused a pit of dread to develop in his stomach. All that he sensed were things that he connected with trouble. Beeping, dripping, wheezing sounds combined with the smells of decay and chemicals to send his senses spinning and whirling out of control. So he did what he always did when that happened; he searched for the familiar heartbeat, the one that upon hearing he always knew everything was going to be all right.
After a few frantic seconds, he found it and was surprised by the nearness of it. He allowed only that sound to register and concentrated on its soothing rhythm for a couple of minutes. Finally, after a few long minutes, Jim realized it was time to try and open his eyes again. Slowly, the Sentinel opened his eyes and looked around the room. After a moment, he realized where he was, but was still at a loss as to how he'd gotten there. Then the little he could remember came back to him with painful clarity. Flashes of guns, bullets, and blood; his, theirs and that of his Guide, caused his breathing to speed up into a frenzied rhythm. He felt movement on his hand and looked down; the sight he beheld calmed everything down instantly.
His Guide~his anchor~was right next to him, the curly head resting nearly on top of him, asleep. The Guide's hand was almost touching his Sentinel's. Jim concentrated all of his strength into moving his hand and gently ran his fingers through Blair's silky curls. The movement calmed him and reassured him of his partner's well-being. He continued to stroke his friend's head and, after a minute or two, Blair responded, turning his head into the gentle touch. The sight of his sleeping Guide calmed the Sentinel, and he was content to sit there close to him, when he caught sight of the bandage on his forehead. Jim heartbeat sped up as he ghosted his fingers across it. The motion brought a small groan from Blair, and he shifted, shying away from the touch when his eyes popped open.
Two pairs of anxious eyes met and then relaxed at what they saw. Jim smiled a tired smile and offered the formerly caressing hand to his partner. Blair smiled, his smile one of relief, and grasped the offered hand bringing it to his chest over his heart. They sat that way, just looking at each other, reassuring themselves of the other's presence, then Blair moved to hit the call button. Jim stopped him with a tug on his hand, and Blair returned his eyes to his friend's, seeing the plea residing there for a few more minutes of just them before the circus of doctors and nurses descended upon them and disrupted the peacefully content feeling in the room.
The Sentinel and his Guide just sat together for a moment more and enjoyed the feelings shining in the other's eyes, before hitting the button and allowing the world around them to pull them from their peaceful place.