Disclaimer: Not mine - they belong to Pet Fly Productions and UPN. No money, please don't sue.
Rated: G
Spoilers: Sentinel Too (yup, I had to do it too)
Thanks to my wonderful betas: TAE, Dana and Wnnepooh - you guys are the best!
Author's notes: I was compelled to write this after reading Sis' wonderful "Spoken Out Loud". I'd never thought about it before, but it suddenly struck me out of the blue that Megan had some things she probably felt guilty about too... Anyway, this piece occurred to me as a continuation of Sis' piece (you remember when Simon says that Megan will be by later?). Please don't ask me why I had to write this story. Megan's character is fine - paired with Rafe, or Brown, or Taggert, but three's a crowd. Okay, already, on with the story!
Nickerbits
Hi, Sandy. It's me, Megan, here to take my turn by your bedside. Simon needed to go take care of some business back at the station, and he's made Jim go home to get a bit of rest. That's probably just as well, anyway, don't you think? How many times can you listen to that man read the same anthropology journal to you over and over again? Don't worry, though, he'll be back. I've even made him promise to spend at least 10 minutes an hour actually talking to you. I doubt you'll get anything deeper than a review of the weather and last night's game, but it's a start, isn't it?
Don't worry, you aren't imposing on me at all. I've actually been waiting for my chance to talk to you alone for a while. Ah, Sandy, you have no idea of how sorry I am that this happened to you, of all people. You're the sweetest and most innocent of all of us. I know it's a cliche, but why do bad things happen to good people? Why do the bad guys like Alex always seem to land on their feet, while we run around in circles behind her and good people like you get hurt?
I know that Jim and Simon are really beating themselves up over this, but truth to tell, I feel at least partially responsible myself. I know you'd tell me that I'm being silly, but, Sandy, if I'd only made sure that bitch was properly restrained before I ran to help Jim, none of this would have happened. I really am so sorry - if I'd only done my job properly... I could probably still have reached Jim in time - probably. That really isn't the point, though. I'm a cop. My job is to serve and protect the civilian population. That's you. I knew that woman was a dangerous felon, but I didn't take the time to finish my job and protect the public before rushing off to help my fellow officer. I really blew it, and you paid the price. If I'd only taken those few seconds to handcuff Alex like I was supposed to... God, Blair, all I can say is that I screwed up and it won't happen again. I think I'm gonna owe you a big steak dinner or something once you're out of here. Hurry it up, would you? We may even invite Jim if he's acting like a human being when we go. What do you think?
Anyway, you would have been really impressed with how on Jim was with his psychic hunches. The second that he saw Alex was gone, he realized that we had to find you - that that's where she would be heading. I swear I saw the flash hit him this time. His face went blank for just a second, he said, 'We gotta find Sandburg', then he was running for that ugly old truck of his. And then, once we got to the U., we were half-way up the stairs towards your office when he suddenly stopped dead and turned around and that's when we all saw... How did it happen so fast, Sandy? We couldn't have been more than 5 or 10 minutes behind her. Oh, Lord - she must have threatened you with a gun for things to happen so quickly, and with so little sign of a struggle. The gun I didn't bother to pick up off the floor after I'd disarmed and beaten her. Sandy, I - how many times can I apologize to you? I screwed this up from start to finish - please forgive me. You must know I never wanted anything like this to happen...
Eee - enough of that. When the doctor said you needed to hear familiar voices, he probably should have specified some less morbid topics too, don't you think? Jim feels really bad about the way he's been acting these past couple of weeks. It's okay though, he's starting to act more like the Jim Ellison we all know and love again. I suppose that something like this will really snap you out of whatever funk you're in and put things in a little more perspective, don't you think? He's really feeling guilty though, Sandy. If you want anything out of that man, I think now's the time to ask. Well, as soon as you really wake up, anyway. Can you please hurry that up for us? We're all worried about you. We know the doctors have said you'd be okay, but until you're wide awake and bouncing again, I don't think we'll really believe it.
I've been helping Jim put the loft back in order. You should be glad you're not there to help - we're getting hernias carrying all that furniture back up from the basement. Of course, the lift chose now to break down. I swear that machines do that on purpose - wait until it will cause the most inconvenience to die. I've climbed so many stairs in the past couple days that I don't think I'll ever be able to face another Stair Master as long as I live.
You know, I hadn't realized that Jim didn't know where you'd gone when he threw you out. He just can't forgive himself for that one. I know, Sandy, you want to know whether I mean throwing you out or not knowing where you'd gone, right? Both, actually - really he's castigating himself over everything. That man has guilt down to a fine art, doesn't he? He doesn't want to share either. He says that I'm not to blame for not taking care of Alex. He's to blame for letting the whole thing go this far, and for letting Alex get the drop on him in the warehouse. I've tried explaining to him that not everything in this world is his fault or about him, but he just clenches that jaw even tighter and glares with those icy blue eyes of his. The man really thinks he's tough doesn't he? He just hasn't figured out yet that I'm not intimidated. And I do still feel guilty.
Oh, but I did get off the track there, didn't I? I was telling you about your flat. We moved all his stuff back in, and since I was able to tell him where you'd gone, we went and got your things too. Jim put your room back the way it was before all this started. He's telling everyone that this was all just a misunderstanding, and you'll be coming home from the hospital with him, but I can tell he's scared to death, Sandy. I don't know everything that went on between you two, but he really needs you now. Try to be understanding and keep that in mind when you do finally wake up enough to talk to him.
I think all this stress has his psychic abilities going a little wonky too. Every once in a while he just seems to stop and stare blankly for a while. I don't know if he's getting flashes or what, but these trances really seem to be scaring Simon. Jim and Simon both seem to think that this will all sort itself out when you wake up. Can you tell me why that would be, Sandy? Why would a psychic need someone else around to help him control his abilities? I've never heard of anything like that before and, as I'm sure you remember, I worked with lots of psychics back home. You're all hiding something. I don't know what it is, Sandy, but I will figure it out. It all has to do with why a civilian anthropologist is paired with a cop doesn't it?
Hey - Sandy. Do I see you opening those beautiful baby blues again? What? Oh, it's 3:47 in the afternoon.
Yes, I'll remind Simon that his reports are in his basket. No, I won't forget, I promise.
Jim will be here really soon, Sandy. Yes, he's anxious to see you too.
It's okay, go back to sleep now, Blair. I'll just stay and chat for a bit 'til Jim gets here
Fin
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