Disclaimer:The Sentinel characters aren't mine, though I really wouldn't mind my very own Blair (Christmas is coming up, Pet Fly, take notice!). Paramount and Pet Fly own them. I'm not making any money off this, this is just for the fun of myself and the fans.
Warning: Death of a character, though it happened prior to the start of the story.
Rated PG
Audrey Lynne
"Jamie!" James Ellison stepped into the lower-level bedroom, wondering if he could even find the girl under the pile of blankets on the bed. It had been another cold night in Cascade, and she hated the cold. Not unlike someone else who'd once slept in that very same room. "C'mon, Sweetheart, time to get up. You've got to go to school."
"Don't wanna," she sighed sleepily.
Jim chuckled, reaching under the covers to gently shake her. "Sorry, but the law says you have to. And if I don't make you, I'd be breaking the law. Then I'd have to arrest myself."
His efforts earned him a girlish giggle. Jamie Sandburg sat up in bed, her blue eyes wide and her dark curls unruly. "Uncle Jim, you're silly!"
"Not as silly as a little girl I know," Jim growled playfully, sensitive fingers easily finding her most ticklish spots and making full use of them.
Jamie shrieked with laughter, squirming as she tried to get away. "Okay, okay, I'll get dressed!" One hand went to her hip. "But I'm not little. I'm ten now."
"How could I forget?" Jim smiled at her fondly. She looked so much like Blair...
"Uncle Jim?" Jamie prompted, noticing that he'd started gazing past her and out the window. "You there?"
Jim shook his head and nodded, reassuring her. "Yeah, I'm fine. Not zoning out, I promise."
"Zoning out." She giggled, pulling a blue sweater over her head. "I think that's a cool name for it."
"That's what your dad always called it." Jim went ahead and fished a pair of socks out of her dresser, knowing she'd be looking for them later. He turned around, and couldn't miss the look that crossed Jamie's face. "What's the matter, Shortcake?" As if he didn't know.
"Daddy," Jamie replied, biting her lip to fight back tears. "I miss him."
Jim pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms securely around her. "I know, Jamie. I miss him too. But he's not really gone, you know."
"Long as we remember him?" Jamie suggested. Off Jim's surprised look, she supplied, "Naomi told me that."
"Smart lady." As Jim held Blair's daughter in his arms, he battled the memories of that tragic day...
"Jim..."
"Simon! What's wrong? You look like hell."
"There's been an...incident...at the University."
Jim had wondered at the time what trouble Blair had gotten himself into that time. If there was trouble to be found, Blair Sandburg was sure to find it -- PhD or not. He was a Murphy's Law magnet.
"What happened to Blair?"
Simon sighed heavily, putting a hand on Jim's shoulder to steady him. "You'd better come with me."
Shortly after the incident forever after known as The Great Sentinel Fiasco, at least that was what Blair and Jim had privately called it, Blair had started training at the Cascade Police Academy. After all, he'd just committed academic suicide and career suicide in one fell swoop. What else was left? Besides, he liked the idea of staying Jim's partner. With his previous field experience and the help of a few strings pulled by Simon Banks, he'd been able to get a position as a rookie detective in Major Crimes upon his graduation. Even after Jim went to the Chancellor at Rainier University and complained about his identity as a human research subject not having been protected, restoring Blair's reputation, Blair had decided to stay a cop -- claiming that having his doctorate made him that much more valuable to the force. In reality, he had still been hurt by how quickly Rainier had turned its back on him once he wasn't the star of the moment any longer; he'd admitted as much to Jim. Between that and the option of being Jim's partner, Sentinel and Guide working together as Fate had intended, there hadn't been much choice.
Several months later, Blair had met Maggie, an attractive Vice officer. They'd gotten caught in a whirlwind romance and married; Jamie Margaret Sandburg was born a year later. Maggie and Blair had adored their daughter, and they'd been truly happy together... until Maggie was killed in a bust gone wrong. Blair had found himself suddenly alone, with a two year old girl to raise. After a lot of sleepless nights, he had finally announced his decision to his partner. Chancellor Edwards had retired, leaving the college under new leadership. Blair had been offered a full-time professorship, and he'd accepted.
"Jim... really, man, this is nothing personal. I love being a detective -- well, except the gun, but it goes with the job. I love working with you. But I've gotta think of Jamie, too."
"I know, Chief. This is dangerous work, and she needs at least one parent -- is that what you were going to say?"
"Jim..."
"I understand. Hell, Blair, I agree with you. Go back to teaching. You always loved that, too. Besides, worst that could happen there is a paper cut, right?" Jim's tone was light, but not mocking.
"I might die of boredom," Blair joked. "I mean, after all these years of chasing bad guys..."
"You'll survive. I've got a little surprise for you, though."
Blair laughed. "You always do that!"
"What?"
"Always, man. Seems like whenever I'm at these crossroads kind of points, you turn around and surprise the hell out of me. I figure I've lost my one chance to study a true Sentinel; you call me your partner. I die; you bring me back to life. And, yes, I know it was you. I've always known. I lose my job and most everything that's important to me; you find a way to get me this job."
"You worked for it."
"Whatever. You're missing my point, Jim."
"I do it because you're my friend. My partner. My Guide, and everything else. You've saved me, Blair, a million times over. Least I could do is return the favor."
"So what'd you do this time, O Great One?" Blair's grin widened.
"Well, see," Jim explained, "there's this consultant position available -- on an as-needed basis. They assume you're working full-time elsewhere, and they're willing to work around it. Best part, it's here at the station -- you're not risking your ass out in the field."
"Damn, you'd better be careful, Ellison," Blair warned, the last sentence having registered with him first. "Because I'll kick YOUR ass if... wait, did you say consultant?!"
"If you want it."
"You bet." A long pause followed. "We're still going to be friends, right, Jim? This isn't going to change that."
"Nothing will," Jim vowed. "Best friends. Always. Believe me, I'll still need you to guide me. That won't ever change, either."
And then, six years later, Simon had shown up at the door. Blair had been shot. While in his 'safe' academic world, Blair had been shot -- and killed. There had been a fight between two students. Blair, always the peace-lover, had gone to try to break it up. One of the students had a gun. Blair had been shot twice in the chest at point-blank range. He'd died before the medics could even get there.
And where had he been killed, of all places on that campus? Right by that damn fountain.
"Uncle Jim?! C'mon, Uncle Jim!"
Jamie.
Jim blinked, and looked over at the girl, who was currently kneeling in front of him on the bed, frowning in concern. "I'm fine, Jamie."
"You sure? You acted like you were zoning out again!"
"I was just remembering," he assured her. I don't think you really can zone on a memory. Can you? Blair would've known.
Perhaps Jamie would know one day, too. She enchanted and worried Jim at the same time. Some days, she was full of little-girl charm... others, she seemed far too old for her age.
Everyone at Major Crimes had watched Jim like a hawk the first few days after Blair's death. They were all worried, knowing the bond the two had shared. They all mourned Blair, too, but knew Jim was feeling the loss more deeply than any of them.
Had the circumstances been different, Jim might not have survived such a devastating loss. He wondered sometimes what would have happened to him if Blair had died and Jamie hadn't been around. He'd probably have gotten killed himself, taking some stupid chance, because there was nothing to live for any more. But Jim had promised Blair after Maggie's death that he would take care of Jamie if anything happened. And he was going to live up to that promise. Jamie was his reason to go on.
And... maybe, just maybe, Jamie was more.
Everyone had always figured that either Simon or Megan would step into the Guide role if anything were ever to happen to Blair. Neither deluded themselves into thinking that they would share the same bond with Jim, but at least he'd have someone to watch his back. Someone to pull him out from a zone. If they could. The theory hadn't been tested.
Then one day, three days after Blair had died, Jim had been sitting at home on his couch. He was staring at the French doors leading to the bedroom. It had once been Blair's room; now it was Jamie's. Things were still in a state of disarray from the move-in. Blair had given most of Maggie's belongings to charity after her death, with the exception of a few cherished items. Those were in a sealed box that Jim had tucked away in a closet. He'd give it to Jamie when she was older.
Blair's things, on the other hand, were in the boxes that were everywhere. Jamie's stuff had been put directly into her room. But Jim didn't know what to do with everything else. Naomi could probably help, once she arrived in town. She was coming from Australia.
She had taken the news remarkably well. Jim knew she was just waiting for the right time and place to fall apart. And he would be there for her when it happened. Heaven knew he owed both her and Blair that much.
Jamie had been in Blair's -- No, Jim angrily corrected himself, HER room, unpacking. She was eight years old, and still having trouble with the concept of death. Intellectually, she understood; she was a smart girl. But the idea that Daddy wasn't coming home, that somehow she wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore... that was throwing her. So she really was dealing with it by not dealing with it, in typical child fashion. Her radio was on and she was listening to the song that happened to be on, singing, not knowing all the words, and making up words to cover what she didn't know. Jim extended his hearing a bit to catch the song.
Over mountains, over trees
Over oceans, over seas
Across the desert
I'll be there
In a whisper on the wind
On the smile of a new friend
Just think of me,
And I'll be there.
Don't be afraid, oh, my love
I'll be watching you from above
But I'd give all the world tonight
To be with you
Cause I'm on your side
And I still care
I may have died, but I've gone nowhere
Just think of me,
And I'll be there.
"I'll Be There." That had been the song at Maggie's funeral. Jim had thought it was nice, but it had no particular meaning for him. It had meant something to Blair, but he'd never divulged the information. Jim hadn't wanted to push at the time, and had since forgotten to ask. Now something in it reached out to him. Jamie was singing, just pieces of the chorus were all she knew... but for THAT song to be playing, this soon after her father's death...
It was a nice song, but it wasn't insanely popular. It was almost as though Blair were...
"Chief, I don't know if I'm ready to take that trip with you."
Memories came back to him from the last time Blair had died. The time he had pulled a Lazarus. Maybe Blair had been right. Maybe that experience had added some mystical power to their bond. Maybe the song WAS Blair's way of telling both his friend and his daughter that he was all right, wherever he was. That he would always be with them in spirit.
Maybe.
Jim tuned back in to the song.
On the edge of a waking dream
Over rivers, over streams
Through wind and rain
I'll be there.
Across the wide and open sky
Thousands of miles I'd fly
To be with you
I'll be there.
Jim focused a little harder when the chorus came up again, especially the latter half of it. Maybe he was searching for a sign. Hell, he didn't know.
I'm on your side
And I still care
I may have died, but I've gone nowhere
Just think of me,
And I'll be there.
"Uncle Jim! C'mon, listen to me... you gotta come back. I don't know what to do... come back! Please?"
Jamie's voice had lured him out of it and Jim had snapped back into awareness to find Jamie sitting in his lap, one of her little hands on either side of his face. Jim extended his hearing to the radio, to find that some Celine Dion song was playing -- and was half over. He swore silently. He'd zoned. With Jamie there. He'd left them both completely unprotected, because he'd zoned on that song. He had know he'd have to watch himself -- without Blair's... force, for lack of a better term, he was much more prone to zoning...
"Jamie."
She flopped back onto the couch in a very Sandburg-like way. "You scared me!"
"Sorry, Shortcake."
"You're back, though. That's good."
"How long was I out of it?"
"Few minutes." She appeared to consider it. "I just tried that thing that Daddy always did. Guess it worked."
Jim had found nothing more than coincidence in that at first. A frightened little girl, imitating something she had seen her father do in similar situations. Blair and Jim hadn't yet told her of the Sentinel/Guide relationship; that was going to wait until she was older.
But she'd done it again, a week later when he'd zoned again. And it had worked.
Megan had tried, once, when Jim had zoned at the station briefly, but nothing had happened. Simon had tried. They'd had to wait until he'd come out of it on his own.
Jamie knew nothing of dials and spikes -- Jim had even mentioned it to see if maybe Blair HAD been teaching her a few things.
"A dial? Like on the radio, you mean? Yeah, you turn it up and down..."
"You ever heard of a dial in someone's head?"
"Don't be silly! People don't turn off and on with dials!"
Yet, somehow, her touch always soothed him. Her voice could lead him home when his senses were on the fritz. Blair had once said that Sentinels weren't bred; they were born. Could the same be true of Guides? Maybe not genetically, like Sentinels, but that just knowing? That... something?
He had come to rely on Jamie over the past two years. He had explained his hyperactive senses to her as best he could. She had giggled and promptly declared it to be the coolest thing she'd ever heard. She was a Sandburg, all right. While maybe not calling it a 'dial' -- she still insisted that those belonged on the oven -- she had helped him turn his senses down when he'd had to occasionally. A simple, "Just make it lower!" could work wonders. Her tiny hand on his back had grounded him from time to time.
She, of course, wasn't able to accompany him to the station and the field, nor would he have wanted her to by any means. He was happy knowing that his little Guide-in-training (she was still learning, and so was he) was relatively safe at Cascade Elementary. Chief, I know you'd find this nothing short of hilarious. The Sentinel of the Great City, dependent on and being guided by a kid who weighs all of 70 pounds. Soaking wet. He hoped that Blair was indeed getting some entertainment value out of it -- that he was watching, that he was somewhere with Maggie, that he was happy.
He pulled the blue and white truck into the parking lot of Jamie's school, unbuckling her seatbelt for her and giving her a kiss. "You have a good day, now. Be careful."
Jamie gave him one of her mega-watt grins. "You be careful too. And you come get me if you need me!"
Jim chuckled. So much like Blair. "Sure. But I think Miss Megan will take good care of me while you can't."
"She better!" Jamie stuck a hand in her backpack, and produced a coaster with a some sort of tribal warrior etched on it. "Keep this with you."
"Where'd you get this?" It looked familiar... very familiar.
"It was in one of Daddy's boxes. I think it's cute."
Jim grinned right back at her, wondering what Blair's reaction would be to having heard that one of his favorite tiki coasters was 'cute'. "I'll keep it right in my jacket. That way a part of you AND your dad is with me."
"Then nothin' can hurt ya." Jamie kissed his cheek and hopped out of the truck.
Jim waited until she was inside before heading to Central. Megan was waiting, standing beside his desk. She had been his partner since Blair had gone back to teaching. They'd finally managed to get a certain rapport... and Jim was able to read into her facial expressions with some accuracy. He groaned. "All right, what's the Problem du Jour?"
"Chief's on our butts about getting the Jensen case settled," Megan began. "The witnesses are due in about ten minutes for statements, and -- what's that in your pocket?" As Jim had settled down, the coaster started to peek out.
"Oh, this?" Jim pulled it out and handed it to her. "Jamie gave it to me. Told me it'd keep me safe."
Megan smiled, running her fingers over the smooth glaze. "Didn't this used to be Sandy's?"
"Yeah. He had them around the loft for years."
"He told me about this one." Megan tried to recall details. "It was the likeness of one of the friendship gods from some far-flung little country." She handed the makeshift talisman back to Jim, who tucked it safely back into his pocket.
"Friendship, huh? Appropriate," Jim answered. "Jamie thought it was cute."
Megan sat down on the corner of Jim's desk. "I think you're in good hands with her, Jim."
"You know what?" Jim smiled up at her from his chair. "I think you're right."
-The End-
For now, anyway.
Thanks for Jen for the beta job *hugs*.