For Stephanie... Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah... just because, so there. :-P

BONDING TIME



Audrey Lynne





Sometimes, it takes so little to make him so happy.

Well, me too -- I have to admit that I really liked the evening as well.

And all it took was pizza, a bottle of Chianti, and a Blockbuster rental card... those were the only ingredients needed for me and the kid to enjoy a little bonding time. No, I don't mean that Sentinel-Guide bonding thing that I don't understand and sometimes wonder if I ever will. I mean male bonding... the warm gooey feelings you get from quality time spent with your buddy (not that any macho male in his right mind would admit said feelings to be warm and gooey).

Maybe I'd better start at the beginning. Blair and I had just been coming off a rough week at the station when, on the way home, he suggested that -- since both of us had the day off the next day -- we should spend our evening doing something totally indulgent. I suggested we rent a couple movies, order take out, and vegetate on the couch most of the night. He thought about it, and apparently decided it to be self-indulgent enough... and then the discussion of what movies to rent began.

Since Blockbuster is next to Carme's -- one of the local pizza joints -- we decided that pizza would be good enough for dinner... and that was when it started. Sandburg was apparently in one of his moods, and decided that if we were going to eat pizza, we needed Italian movies to go with it -- or at least movies with Italian-sounding actors. He diverted from his scheduled course long enough to admit that pizza did not originate as an Italian dish, but it was commonly thought of as such so that was good enough for him. Academics.

Don't ask me how his mind works; I'll never understand it. Somehow, we got around to the Godfather trilogy. I was actually anticipating his protest that we didn't need to rent Part 3 because (in his words) "It sucked"... when he gave me that goofy grin of his, picked up the videos -- including Part 3, and called over his shoulder to me that it was perfectly appropriate, what with the pizza and all... and he hadn't seen Part 3 last time.

Yeah, it took me a few minutes to put it all together too. The last time he'd seen the Godfather movies had been when I'd sent him to the theater so I could get him out of the loft while I had Margaret over. (He'd refused to see Part 3 and I don't know if it was because he really hated it or he wasn't leaving me alone for that long.) And it hadn't been too much longer after that when the real nightmare of the Golden case had started. Tainted pizza had been delivered to the station (from Carme's, no less), Blair had eaten it, and had been overdosed with the drug. He'd nearly died. And, come to think of it, this was the first time since then that we'd planned to bring home pizza. Perfectly appropriate, huh?

God, he has a twisted sense of humor. I think that's part of why I like him. I've got to figure we've at least had some influence on him at the station in that regard. An incident can be life-threatening, terrifying... even emotionally scarring (and, believe me, the Golden overdose was all three)... but once it's over and everyone's okay, we relieve stress by laughing at it.

Or maybe this was just Sandburg's way of telling me that everything really was okay now, and it had been for awhile. I don't know. I might have taken up permanent residence in the Sandburg Zone some time ago, but that doesn't mean I understand it (nor am I sure I want to).

But I digress.

After renting the movies, I was going to stop off at QwikMart on the way home to get some beer, since we were out. Still on his Italian kick, my partner pointed out to me at as long as we had the pizza and Al Pacino, we might as well get a bottle of Chianti too. So we went to Safeway, got some, and finally retreated to the relative tranquility (at least for that moment in time) of the loft.

That was when it really started to get interesting. After all, we had nowhere to be the next day; it was just past 7 p.m. when we got home... and we had three movies, food, and alcohol. You can probably guess where this is going.

Somewhere after the first act of Part 2, I noticed that Blair was giggling. No, he wasn't snickering in that demented, amused way of his... he was giggling. He has a somewhat low tolerance for "real" alcohol -- anything more than a couple of beers and he's gone. And that was when it all started. I probably should have noticed that the wine bottle was nearly empty, too, but that's another story.

We'd been having a lot of fun up to that point, and that's the part of the evening I really cherish -- because that's the part I actually remember pretty clearly. We'd been watching the movies, doing a Mystery Science Theater-type commentary (like I said, it had been a long week), eating pizza... when suddenly, Sandburg had one of his crazy ideas that sounds good at the time. Future note to self -- NEVER agree to play drinking games with Sandburg... especially with Italian wine.

As you might imagine, things only went downhill (but in a very fun way) from there. I think we actually did attempt to watch the third movie, wondering if it would suck nearly as much if we were plastered (which, I assure you, we were). I'm amazed I remember as much as I do -- Blair's insisting it has something to do with sensory memories. I don't care. I just wish I remembered more.

I don't remember Simon actually calling, but I know he did because I do recall the phone ringing, and I do remember picking it up. Maybe I should rephrase that. I don't remember TALKING to Simon... and maybe that's for the better. I do remember telling someone about bonding with the kid... and also something about the cutest little puppy watching me... I REALLY hope I was talking about that wolf painting of Sandburg's -- any other possibilities are simply too odd for me to want to consider. I also think I mentioned the plot to get Megan to box with a kangaroo, but... hey, the mind volunteers odd bits of trivia when one is not entirely in control.

Actually, I don't think I've been in control of much of anything since Blair came into my life 4 years ago. Damn. I don't know how he got under my radar -- maybe he was short enough that I didn't notice? Actually, that's not fair. He's 5'9". Still, he's shorter than I am... so... ah, screw it. All I know is that when I say, "Jump,"... he just smiles at me, shakes his head, and mutters, "Riiiight." What I say goes around here... yeah, it GOES right out the window. Strangely enough, I've gotten used to this. What really terrifies me is I'm finding myself liking it. What's this world coming to?

Anyhow, the next thing I remember with any sort of clarity was this morning -- and, trust me, Sandburg and I were not in the finest of forms. Given that I didn't recall my conversation with Simon, we'd figured there was no harm done... no one was going to know but us, and we HAD enjoyed ourselves.

And then there was a knock on the door. I hadn't noticed anyone coming because I was afraid to dial my senses up any higher than was absolutely required for them to be functional... so I got up to open the door... and discovered a small package left outside. Attatched was a note. I opened the box to discover a bottle of aspirin inside... and, really, this should have been my first clue that something was up. But I read the note anyway.

I really should have begun to worry. But I read on.

As Blair would have said (and I do believe he did actually say it when he read the note for himself)... "Oh, man."

I do believe I'll want to stay on Simon's better side for a while now. Just to be safe.

After all, it never hurts.

We're never going to live this one down.

The End :-D

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