The disclaimer I'm getting tired of! Maybe if Pet Fly would give the boys to me, this wouldn't be an issue! Wishful thinking, I know, but... The Sentinel characters aren't mine. Maggie is, for better or for worse. Jamie's mine, too. But, hey, if you wanna borrow her, just email me and lemme know your intentions.
This is more-or-less a prequel to "And a Child Shall Lead Him" and "Who Watches the Watchman?", but don't rush off to read them if you haven't already. You don't need to read them to get this one.
Death of a character, but I figure since I made her up, I can take her out. Our heroes will survive (otherwise, how could there be later installments?).
Nanook (my Beanie Baby wolf, who's really a Husky, but he looks like Blair's wolf) is staring at me now (not that he usually doesn't, it's just that he's facing in my direction now), so I think I'll just shut up and get on with the story. For those of you big on ratings, I'd call this a strong PG.
Audrey Lynne
Blair Sandburg was lying awake in bed, trying to figure out the meaning of his latest dream. It had been in the jungle, with the wolf. He knew the wolf was a representation of him -- but the black jaguar, usually right by the wolf's side, had been nowhere to be seen. The best that Blair could make of that was that either whatever was going to happen didn't involve Jim, this had nothing to do with Jim's Sentinel abilities -- or that whatever was going to happen, it was going to be Blair's problem alone. The last explanation was the one he couldn't buy into. Jim and he were a packaged set; one's problems automatically involved the other.
The wolf had been alone, and come upon an injured ocelot. That had confused him -- he didn't know what the cat had to do with anything. He'd seen them before in real life -- beautiful creatures, small but tough... but never before had one shown up in his dreams. Was it indicative of a person, a situation?
The wolf had lain down beside the cat and licked its wounds, then stayed with it until it died. Then the dream had ended. Near the end, the jaguar returned, but kept its distance, only watching.
Blair didn't know what it had meant -- didn't know where to begin -- and he didn't like that.
He didn't have much longer to dwell on it, as twenty-eight pounds of toddler pounced on him, shrieking with laughter. "Daddy!"
Blair grinned, sitting up and pulling the two-year-old close to his chest. "I've got you now, don't I?" He ruffled her dark curls.
"Blair!" his wife called from the bathroom. "Have you seen Jamie? She was just here a minute ago!"
"It's okay, Maggie," he called back. "She's right here!"
Maggie came into the bedroom, a towel wrapped around her body. She held it in place with her arm, drying her hair with another towel. Maggie was five-foot-nothing, and weighed all of 100 pounds, soaking wet (with a brick in each hand). Yet, despite her small stature, she was a tough-as-nails cop. And often underestimated. Her eyes, powder blue and too big for her face, lent her a waif-like appearance, which was furthered by the honey-blonde hair that framed her face. But after several years working for the Cascade Police Department's Vice division, Maggie herself was far from doe-eyed. She saw the underbelly of society on a daily basis; she couldn't help but be a bit sarcastic and cynical. Yet, on the other hand, she was a loving wife and mother, with a wonderful sense of humor. It was a fine line for her to walk, Blair knew. But, somehow, she did it.
"Better hurry if you're going to take a shower," Maggie advised, joining Blair on the bed. She reached out to snag a handful of his hair. "We're already running a little late."
"Think anyone would notice if we just stayed here all day?" Blair asked, an impish grin creeping onto his face.
"Probably." Maggie stood up to get dressed. "Besides, I don't believe for a minute you'd leave your partner to his own devices if you could help it. You're too much of a mother hen." She laughed. "Oh, don't give me that wounded puppy look. Okay, a mother hen on some serious steroids. Besides, I don't want to leave Kyle alone at work for too long either. He and Jim might decide to start some search and destroy mission."
"On each other?" Blair asked, grinning as he stood up, their daughter still in his arms. Jim Ellison and Kyle Warren had been rivals for years -- never exactly hating each other, but never getting along either. So, both had been admittedly a little surprised when their partners had met, and not only hit it off, but hit it off so well that they had gotten married.
Maggie laughed. "Knowing those two? Hard saying. I think Kyle's going to be impossible to handle most of the day, though. Tonight's the night. We're busting the Mackenzie case wide open!"
"Oh, yeah." Blair kissed her forehead. "Good luck." He knew she and Kyle had been working on the case for weeks. Just as things had looked hopeless, a lead came in that led them straight to the leaders of the crime ring.
"What're you up to?"
"Just another stakeout," Blair sighed. "We're not expecting anything, but we have to be there in case something does go down -- you know the drill. Maybe we'll get lucky and be able to get the Rafe and Brown Comedy Hour again." He chuckled at the memory of the previous night. Henri Brown had, in the middle of a conversation with his partner, accidentally leaned against the radio's push-to-talk button. He hadn't realized it, and everyone else had been treated to several minutes' worth of entertainment.
Maggie favored him with an endearing look. "You'll survive. Now go get in the shower." She took Jamie from him so he'd be able to do just that, and couldn't help but smile at the little yelp of protest it got out of Blair. "Isn't that sweet?" she cooed at the toddler. "Daddy doesn't want to let you go." Jamie squealed in apparent agreement.
Blair shook his head, and rubbed at his suddenly tender chest. "Daddy wants those two fistfuls of chest hair back..." He flashed a smile at them, then headed into the adjoining bathroom. He felt very domesticated, but he wouldn't have traded it for anything.
Maggie glanced over her shoulder at Blair, who was fastening the buttons on his shirt. "You want to do lunch this afternoon?"
Blair frowned. "Oh... this afternoon's really not good. How's tomorrow?"
"Fine." Maggie shrugged. "What do you have this afternoon?"
"Well, I told Jim I'd--"
Maggie threw up her arms. "Should've figured."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Blair asked, trying to keep from getting defensive.
"You've always got something going with him. I swear, sometimes I feel like I married both of you!" Maggie replied.
"He's my partner!" Blair defended. "You can't expect me NOT to want to spend time with him!"
"I know all about partners!" Maggie shot back. "But this is besides that! I mean, I love Kyle to death, but I rarely see him outside of a work situation!"
"It's different with us," Blair insisted. "We were friends for years before we were officially partners."
"I know that! But, Blair, give me a break. Every time I want to do something, he comes into it. Either you've got to change your plans because it interferes with something you two were doing... or you can't do it because you've already got plans with Jim, or..."
"Megs..." Blair used his pet name for her in hopes that it would calm her.
"Don't give me that!" she snapped. "I'm sick of having to share you with him! I hate feeling like I'm second place in your life!"
"Why don't you come with us?" Blair offered, trying to diffuse the situation. "It's just lunch, Maggie..."
"That's exactly it! It's 'just lunch'. Most women can expect to have lunch with their husband without it being a major production!" Maggie had her Irish up, and there was no reasoning with her until she was ready to be reasoned with. "I swear; it's like you can't even make a move without consulting him!"
"You know, I AM capable of independent thought!" Blair argued.
"Could've fooled me."
"Maggie! You're not being fair!" Blair had never explained to her the intricacies of the Sentinel/Guide relationship, and he was beginning to wonder if that had been a mistake. He'd feared she wouldn't understand... but now it seemed that she wouldn't understand if he didn't.
"YOU'RE the one who isn't being fair!" Maggie hissed. "I knew he was your best friend when I married you... I knew you two spent a lot of time together... but I kind of figured that once we said 'I do', I'd become the higher priority!"
"You don't understand..."
"No, Blair," she said, her eyes and voice cold as ice, "I'm afraid I don't. I'll admit it. I'm -- jealous. And if that's such a sin -- well, heaven help me. I'm tired of feeling like the 'other woman'." Before Blair could respond, she glanced to the clock. "Forget it. Just forget it. Let's go, or we'll be late. I'll drop Jamie off at the sitter's. Wouldn't want to keep you from your partner any longer than necessary."
"Now, come on!" Blair replied angrily. "You know, she's my daughter too! I'll take her."
"No, I wouldn't want to trouble you. Just go. You can pick her up tonight; I won't be able to get away for long anyway."
"Oh." Blair knew he shouldn't, but he was still hurt and angry. "So YOU can put the job ahead of other things and that's okay? Is that it?"
"Don't even go there," she told him frostily. "I could say the same of you, a million other times."
"If you want out, just say so. Don't dance around it, making petty accusations."
"So now you think I'm PETTY?" Maggie shook her head in disgust. "I guess you're right. I suppose I really don't understand at all. But maybe you should take a look at yourself, too. Or are you afraid of what you'd find?" She stormed from the room, and went to get Jamie.
Blair shook his head, and grabbed his keys. So much for it having been such a great day.
Jim Ellison looked up as he heard his partner approaching, then frowned. Blair was obviously in a bad mood that morning -- somewhat out of character for him. Whatever was going on, Jim figured he should get to the heart of it before things got completely out of hand. "Morning."
Blair muttered a response, and sank into the chair behind his desk without another word.
"Trouble in paradise?" Jim ventured.
"What?" Blair asked, looking up.
Some of Blair's long hair had snaked loose from the ponytail he wore while on-duty, and it framed his face, coupling with his questioning expression to give him an almost innocent appearance. Had that been Jim's first glimpse of his friend, he might have been able to believe that nothing was wrong. But he knew better. "What's wrong?"
"Who said anything's wrong?" Blair was a master of evasion, but Jim wasn't going to let him get away with it.
"You came in here not five minutes ago in an obviously less-than-wonderful mood," Jim pointed out. "Any particular reason?"
"Oh, it's nothing." Blair sighed. "Just an argument Maggie and I got into this morning. Don't worry about it."
Jim knew better than to get into the middle of domestic disputes if he could at all help it. Besides, divorcees didn't often offer the best marriage advice. "Oh. Well, if you want to talk about it, you know where to find me."
From the way that Blair was avoiding meeting his eyes, Jim could surmise that he'd probably come up somewhere in the fight. He knew that Maggie was always slightly jealous of all the time Blair spent with him; it was a common problem in police marriages. It must have finally come to the boiling point. Even though Maggie was with the department herself, she probably couldn't understand why Blair and Jim spent much more time together than the average set of partners did. And she would probably never believe the real reason if they told her. Maggie had moved to Cascade just after the fiasco with Blair's dissertation, so she didn't know the whole story. Since then, information on Jim's Sentinel abilities had been given out on a need-to-know basis. One could have argued that Blair's wife would have been in the 'need-to-know' category -- and, in fact, Jim and Blair had even debated the matter. Eventually, however, they had decided that it was best to stick with the cover story -- that Jim was merely 'sensitive'. Which really wasn't a lie. If there did come a day when Maggie truly needed to know about the Sentinel abilities, then they would tell her.
"Jim? You still with me, here?"
Jim nodded. "Yeah. I was just thinking."
"About what?" Blair asked, raising an eyebrow.
"The generalities of life," Jim replied, grinning. Off his partner's look, he elaborated. "Okay, not exactly. More the technicalities."
"Did you have a point?"
"Have you ever known me not to?" Jim teased, hoping to improve Blair's mood. "I was just trying to figure out what I was going to do after we finish up with this case. I mean, Kendrick should make his move tomorrow, if we're right. So we'll bust him tomorrow night, probably spend the next day in paperwork... then our caseload should lighten considerably. We might have time on our hands for a change. And I was wondering what I'd do with it." He debated with himself whether to continue -- whether he would be helping or interfering, and decided to take the risk. "You'll probably be with your family, right?"
"Yeah." Blair smiled, just slightly. "I mean, in a way Maggie's right -- I don't give her enough time... but it's not by choice, and that's what she doesn't get! I mean, you've got way more control over your senses than you used to, but you still need me now and then. And I can't just abandon you... I don't know, I feel like she's forcing me to choose. And I can't do that. I won't do that!"
"She probably doesn't expect you to, really," Jim assured him. And you had promised yourself you'd stay out of this! "She was probably just angry. Give it some time; I'm sure it'll work out."
"But what if it doesn't?" Blair sighed. "What if she really does want me to make the choice? I can't tell you what I'd do! And maybe I should be able to make the decision instantly, one way or the other, but I can't!"
"I don't think many in your position would be able to."
Blair shook his head. "Don't pretend to understand, please!"
"What, you don't want marriage advice from someone who couldn't keep his own marriage together?" Jim asked, without anger. He knew Blair well enough to guess at what the other man was thinking, and knew that Blair wouldn't allow himself to say it. Besides, wasn't that the reason Jim had vowed to stay out of it in the first place?
"Exactly!" Blair answered, then sighed and ran a hand over his face. "I'm sorry, Jim. I didn't mean that."
"Sure you did," Jim replied. "And you're right -- I'm not the person you need to be discussing this with. Try talking to Maggie; that's all I can really tell you."
Blair nodded. "You're right. She and Kyle are busting the Mackenzie case tonight; she should be in a good mood when she gets home. Maybe I'm just worrying about this too much."
Jim smiled at him. "I don't think so, Chief. It's not worrying about it at all that gets you into trouble."
Blair ran into Maggie that afternoon, though it wasn't exactly by accident. He knew her typical schedule, and happened to position himself in the receiving area of the Records division at the same time he was pretty sure she'd be passing through.
Maggie waved at him, giving no outward sign of whether she'd caught onto his plan or merely chalked it up to coincidence. "Hi."
With a few quick steps, Blair caught up to her as she was leaving. "Got a minute?"
"A minute." Maggie made a show of checking her watch. "Maybe two if you've got something good to tell me."
Blair sighed in relief. If she was playing with him like that, she couldn't be too angry anymore. "Maggie -- I'm sorry..."
Maggie cut him off. "Don't worry about it. I overreacted."
"You were right, in a way," Blair insisted, resting a hand lightly on her arm. "I should spend more time with you and Jamie." After a quick check to see if any of the leaders of the department rumor mill were watching, he kissed her forehead. "I'll make it up to you; I promise."
Her smile brightened. "I'll hold you to that. And I'll try not to be so sensitive about all that 'male bonding' time you seem to need."
"So that's what you think it is?" Blair laughed.
"I'm pretty sure I don't want details." Maggie squeezed his hand. "Now I'd better go. Kyle's waiting for this file. We'll talk later, okay?"
"Sure."
"Love you." Maggie rose up on her toes to steal a quick kiss.
"Love you too." Blair grinned as he watched her walk away. Things definitely seemed to be looking up.
Early that evening, Maggie was walking out to her car to meet Kyle, when a voice distracted her -- Blair's voice. She'd have recognized it anywhere.
"Hey, now, man -- cut that out! I gotta get my kid!"
He sounded as though he were trying not to laugh, and Maggie couldn't resist peeking around the corner to see what was going on. She couldn't help but smile at the scene. If he doesn't call that male bonding, I don't know what is. Jim had a mischievous sort of grin on his face, and he kept sneaking up behind his partner to snag a lock of hair -- then would quickly let it go and manage to look innocent before Blair could turn around. A silly game, to be sure, but obviously one both were enjoying -- even if Blair would never admit to it.
Maggie shook her head softly as she thought about the morning's quarrel. She HAD been feeling somewhat neglected, but she had never intended to say anything about it. She knew down deep that Blair loved her, that he hadn't been trying to be unfair, that he simply wanted to meet all his obligations and still please everyone. She DID like Jim... and Jamie simply adored the man. Maybe what had thrown her was her knowledge of just how deep the bond between her husband and his partner ran -- and her previously unrealized jealousy that she didn't share as deep a relationship with her own partner. She and Kyle were close, but nowhere near THAT close. Maggie wasn't ready to admit that she'd been totally wrong, but she did have a few things that she was going to have to think about. And a few positions she might have to reconsider.
When she looked again, Jim was staring off in another direction, motionless. Maggie frowned, wondering what was going on. She'd never seen him like this. Blair obviously had, though, because he threw up his hands in frustration and went over to Jim's side.
"Jim, man, you haven't done this to me in months! What is it now?"
Maggie watched for another moment, fascinated, as Blair's frustration turned almost instantly to tenderness. He spoke in tones too low for Maggie to hear, but they had a nearly immediate effect on Jim. He shook his head, and snapped out of... whatever it was...
Once the situation appeared to have passed, Blair's annoyance returned. "What was that all about?"
"I thought I heard something," Jim replied, shrugging. "Guess I focused on it a little too much..."
"I'll say," Blair muttered, finally reaching his car. He nodded to the passenger's side. "Go ahead; get in. Your hearing's one of your most powerful senses, Jim! How many times do I have to tell you not to 'try' anything without me?"
The rest of the conversation was cut off as they got into the car. Maggie shook her head and headed down the rest of the ramp, towards Kyle's car. She was puzzling over the scene she had just witnessed -- when, suddenly it hit her. Those books Blair had at home, about sentinels... the research articles... he read everything he could get his hands on that concerned the subject. She'd always considered it a harmless obsession, a holdover from his days in anthropology. She doubted he'd return to his former academic life, much as he had loved it -- he seemed as if he were still hurt at the speed with which Rainier University had turned him away once he had become a potential liability, rather than their 'prize'.
Maggie knew very little of the scandal surrounding Blair's dissertation. He'd had his Ph.D. at the time she met him, and she knew that Jim had spoken with a few high-level folks, and eventually Blair's reputation had been restored. That had never made as big a news story as the original scandal, though -- which didn't seem to be a subject Blair wanted to talk about. With nothing else to go on, Maggie had always believed the version of the story that the police department (most notably Major Crimes) circulated: the infamous Sentinel dissertation had really been a novel, never intended to be published, was mistaken for his actual thesis paper, and chaos had ensued. But maybe it HADN'T been fiction. Could it be that Jim Ellison really WAS the Sentinel detective mentioned in the 'story'? And Blair, the researcher who had followed him? It made sense once Maggie considered it. All those times Jim had heard or seen things no one else could... and they had claimed he was just 'sensitive'...
And every Sentinel needed someone to watch his back, a Guide. Maggie actually had gotten curious and looked through a few of the books. She'd never put much stock in the theories -- not until then. It was all coming together. Jim was a Sentinel, and Blair was his Guide. Suddenly, Maggie began to gain some insight into Blair's reasons -- why he didn't like to leave Jim alone for too long, why the two were so close... what had one of the books said? "One was rarely seen without the other." She'd even compared it at the time to her husband and his partner, but had never taken the comparison any further. Perhaps she should have.
She couldn't deny that she was still a bit jealous, but she was starting to figure out why things were the way they were. She couldn't ask Blair to leave Jim any more than she could ask him to leave her or Jamie. Oh, Blair...
"Yes, we DEFINITELY need to have a talk -- a long talk," Maggie sighed, not caring that no one was around to hear.
Well, almost no one. Kyle came up behind her. "What's that, Margaret?"
"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking out loud." Maggie grinned and followed her partner the final few feet to his car.
"If you say so." Kyle flashed her a dazzling grin. "Now, c'mon. Lets go catch us some bad guys."
After picking Jamie up from the babysitter, and dropping her off with the neighbor who would watch her until her parents got home, Blair and Jim headed into Cascade's warehouse district to observe a suspected drug lab. Nothing was really expected to happen, but they had to be there just the same -- it promised to be a long night. Especially since Brown had learned to watch out for the radio's buttons.
"Oh, I am SO incredibly bored," Blair moaned, leaning back against the back of the car's seat. Too much further and he'd have slid under the dashboard. "Why did all the really GOOD stakeouts happen when I was just observing?"
"They just don't seem as good now because I can't tell you to stay in the truck anymore," Jim teased.
"We have been watching this place for two days -- nothing," Blair continued. "All those TV cop shows, they never have nothing happen..."
Jim chuckled. "That's because no one would want to watch a full hour of two guys sitting in a truck complaining about how bored they are, Chief."
Blair nodded; Jim had a valid point. However... "I'm just gonna be glad when this whole case is over."
"I assume everything's getting smoothed over with Maggie?" Jim asked. "You're not obsessing over it like you were this morning."
"I was not obsessing," Blair defended. "But, yeah, things are gonna be okay, I think. I ran into her earlier. We're gonna talk tonight; it should work out."
"That's good to hear." Jim looked off in another direction for a moment, then laughed. "Is that even physically possible?"
Blair shook his head. Jim often seemed to forget that not everyone had his amplified senses. "Care to clue me in?"
Jim smiled. "You know those Australian curses Megan's so fond of?"
"Yeah?"
"This was one of her more creative ones," Jim explained.
Blair held up his hands. "If it involves sheep, dogs, or sheepdogs, I don't want to know." Most of the more colorful ones usually did. "Is she in trouble or just as bored as we are?" From Jim's casual demeanor, he guessed the latter.
"She's fed up with waiting," Jim answered.
"And so am I!" Blair sighed. "At least I ought to get some entertainment value out of the Mackenzie case wrap-up." He snickered. "I'd like to see his face when he realizes that not only did the 'hostess' he hired last night come packing heat -- she's also fully prepared to kick his ass."
A smile crept onto Jim's face as well. "Oh, yeah..." He glanced to the right as a late-model sedan pulled away from the warehouse. "Well, there go our men. Looks like they've closed down shop for the night."
"Not a deal in sight," Blair lamented.
"That's the way it goes sometimes."
Simon's voice came over the radio. "Looks like they're gone for tonight, guys."
The radio quickly crackled to life again a few seconds later. "Great! Does this mean we can go home?" It was Rafe -- and Megan's muttering about something or other could be heard in the background.
"Yes, fine..." Simon's voice was strained -- either he was as tired as everyone else was, or he was simply tired of putting up with them all. Either was a viable option. "See you tomorrow."
Acknowledgements came back over the radio, and Blair tuned them out as he started up the car. He smiled over at Jim. "Want me to drop you back off at Central so you can get your truck?"
"Yeah, sure... thanks." Jim nodded.
The radio sputtered again a second later, but there was a delay before the message started -- then the signal died. Blair frowned. "That was weird."
"Probably someone at Dispatch with an itchy trigger finger," Jim assumed.
It happened again after another moment -- but the next burst of static was followed by a voice.
"Available assistance--" Static. "Nine forty-three West Junction--" More static. "Officer down; we need immediate backup!"
Jim looked over at Blair, his expression one of reserved concern. "Was that...?" His tone indicated that he didn't really need to ask; he only wanted confirmation -- or, even better, denial.
"Maggie? Yeah." Blair bit back the fear that rose in his throat, and jerked the car into a U-turn, as Jim radioed Dispatch to let them know they were responding. Blair knew almost exactly where 943 West Junction was, and he was getting there, come hell or high water, or anything else that might have tried to get in his way.
They made it to the scene in record time. Jim instinctively looked around for Maggie -- but then realized that she'd probably been smart enough to take cover. And a determined officer could hide well when necessary. Jim knew that Blair was going to want to find his wife, but he also knew that it might not be a simple task. As the car skidded to a stop, Jim pulled his weapon from the holster, and glanced to his partner. In the dim light, he could make out the figure of Kyle Warren, obviously injured. He'd apparently been hastily pulled into a makeshift shelter, probably right before Maggie had called for help. "Blair, listen, if she's--"
"If she's hiding, you'll be the best one to find her..." Blair understood. "I'll check on Kyle -- but you let me know the SECOND you find her, okay? I mean it."
Jim nodded, opening the door. "With any luck, she'll let you know herself." Sirens could be heard in the distance; more backup was on the way. He raised the dial on his hearing, listening for the easy things first -- heartbeats, breathing patterns. His own he filtered out quickly, and he was familiar enough with Blair's to be able to do the same. There should have been two more, but there was only one -- a weak one, accompanied by small but frequent gasps for breath. He followed it, cursing softly.
He found her several yards away, behind a large stack of boxes. She was lying on her back, a radio in one hand, her gun a few feet away. She must have been looking for cover when she'd been hit.
"Maggie..." Jim dropped to his knees beside her, and pulled her into his lap. He wasn't going to let her lie on the cold, hard ground any longer than she had to. He turned his head, and shouted for his partner. "BLAIR! SHE'S OVER HERE!" This was not going to be easy.
Maggie's eyes fluttered open and she looked up at him. "Jim..."
He shook his head, hearing Blair's footsteps approaching. "Save your strength." She was going to need it, from the looks of things. She'd been shot at least twice, both times to the chest. The rasp in each breath she took was indicative of an injured lung; the amount of blood was alarming.
"No..." Maggie shook her head weakly, steel resolve in her eyes. "Have... to tell you." She allowed herself another breath. "Blair."
"What about him?" Jim asked, sensing rather than seeing Blair arrive beside them.
"You... take care... of him."
"Oh, Megs." Blair knelt beside them, stroking her cheek. "Don't talk like that, honey -- you'll be all right."
Maggie glared at him. "Promise me."
Jim nodded, once again committing himself to a promise he had made many times over the years. He hadn't always been able to keep Blair from all harm, and probably still wouldn't be able to -- but he would damn well try. "I promise, Maggie."
She nodded, satisfied.
Jim eased her weight in his arms just slightly so that Blair could get underneath. The ambulance was only about a block away now; he'd heard it, but Maggie was dying. And Blair should have been the one holding her in those last moments.
The look in Blair's eyes communicated the unspoken thank you, and then all of his attention turned to Maggie. "Hang in there..."
"Love you," she whispered.
"I love you too," Blair replied, pulling her a little closer. "Always."
"Tell Jamie..."
Blair shook his head firmly. "You can tell her yourself later, Maggie. You can't leave me like this."
Maggie gazed up at him one final time, then her eyes slid closed as her body went limp against Blair's chest.
"Maggie..." Blair's voice had taken on a new note of panic. "Maggie, no..."
The ambulance pulled up at the same time, and Blair reluctantly moved back to let them work. There was nothing they could do for Kyle, but maybe Maggie would still have a chance.
Jim put an arm around Blair's shoulders, trying to steady him. "Let them do their job, Chief."
Blair's gaze was riveted ahead -- he ignored Jim, and spoke to the paramedics. "C'mon... you have to save her! She can't die!"
"They're doing everything they can." Jim wasn't sure if he'd be heard or appreciated, but Blair's voice had been a tether for him many times in the past. The least he could have done was try to return the favor.
"I need her," Blair whispered, and the desperation in his tone nearly broke Jim's heart.
"I know, buddy." He tightened his grip on Blair's shoulder.
Trauma victims were always a nightmare to resuscitate, and Maggie was no different. They tried to save her, but even after three shock attempts, her heart refused to start again. Her chest was so much of a mangled mess that it made CPR nearly impossible. The paramedics turned to the two detectives.
"I'm sorry, guys," one of them said, genuine regret in his expression.
"No..." Blair shook his head, fighting the tears back. "NO! She can't be gone!"
Jim supported Blair as his friend sank to his knees. "I'm so sorry, Blair." There were several other police officers present now; Jim might have noticed their arrival if he hadn't been so concerned about his partner.
"That dream... that damn dream." Blair looked up at Jim, his eyes filled with a world of pain and too much hurt. "That's what it meant. She was that cat. Tiny but tough..." He shook his head. "Not tough enough, I guess."
Jim looked to Maggie's body, then back to Blair. "Did you want a minute...?"
Blair nodded. "Yeah, man... thanks."
Jim hugged him, then walked away to allow Blair his privacy. Simon approached him.
"Jim -- what's going on?" the captain asked. His eyes widened at the blood coating the front of Jim's shirt.
"It's not mine," Jim assured him. He took a deep breath before continuing. "It's Maggie's."
"Oh, no." Simon's expression changed abruptly, and he tossed the cigar he held aside. "How is she?"
Jim shook his head sadly. "She didn't make it."
"Dammit," Simon hissed -- and Jim might have missed it without his Sentinel hearing. "Damn it all." He met Jim's eyes again. "How's Sandburg?"
"He's not taking it well at all." Jim ran a hand over his face. "Of course, I doubt anyone really expects him to."
Simon looked around the scene again, sighing heavily. "What went wrong?"
"I don't know if we'll ever know," Jim said, his jaw setting firmly. He turned to go back to Blair's side. "But I do know one thing. We're going to find Mackenzie and his people or whoever the hell did this -- and they're going to pay."
Blair opened his eyes and yawned. He shuddered at the memory of the previous night -- but then it hit him that it had just been a dream. Thank God. What a horrible nightmare. He reached across the bed -- Maggie wasn't there, but he heard the shower running. The shower. He chuckled to himself. She's in the shower. Welcome to Dallas, Sandburg.
But his relief turned to confusion as he realized that this wasn't his room. It was -- but it wasn't. It was the bedroom of the loft he and Jim had shared for six years... Was all that a dream? Maggie, the marriage, Jamie -- everything? A small squeak from the two-year-old curled up next to him answered that question. Then what was going on? The room was devoid of any real decor, any life... and then he knew that it hadn't been a dream. The nightmare had been all-too-real. Maggie was dead.
"Damn," he whispered, closing his eyes again as the tears threatened.
Jim poked his head around the door, his expression cautious. "Blair?"
Blair nodded. "Go on; come in." He sat up, careful not to wake Jamie. As he woke up more, he remembered more. After leaving the scene, Jim had brought him back to the loft, then gone to pick Jamie up. Blair was glad to have such a friend -- he wasn't sure what he'd have done on his own. "Jim... about last night... thanks."
Jim sat on the edge of the bed, and put a hand on Blair's arm. "You'd have done the same for me." He smiled at Jamie, and ran his fingers lightly over her dark curls. "How're you holding up?"
"I don't know, man," Blair sighed, shaking his head. "I think I'm more in shock right now than anything. I... I just can't believe she's really gone, you know?"
"I understand. I'm having a hard time believing it, myself," Jim agreed. "But I promise you, Blair, we'll catch whoever was behind this. They won't get away with it."
Blair didn't answer for a moment; he was watching Jamie sleep. Finally, he looked back at Jim. "I keep telling myself that, Jim. And, don't get me wrong, I want that. I mean, two officers killed -- they shouldn't have died for nothing. But I can't help but think to myself too that none of it will bring her or Kyle back." His attention returned to his daughter. "I don't know how I'm going to do this! I don't know anything about raising a little girl! We... we always kind of figured things out together, and now Maggie's not here anymore!"
Jamie yawned, and stirred, sitting up in her father's lap. She smiled brightly at him. "Hi!"
Blair smiled at her. "Morning, sweetheart."
The toddler looked around expectantly. "Mommy?"
Blair drew in a quick breath. What did he tell her? She was far too young to understand the concept of death, or the permanence of anything. He pulled her closer instinctively, and kissed the top of her head. "Mommy's not here, honey."
"Why?"
A two-year-old's favorite question. "She... she had to go away. She didn't want to, but..." He trailed off, and looked to Jim, searching his friend's face for the strength he needed. He found it. "Sometimes, a person's just so special they can't stay with us here anymore."
"'Kay." Jamie nodded.
He knew she didn't really understand; he would be sure to explain more once she was older. Poor kid was too young to even remember her mother once she grew up; he'd have to make sure she knew.
"You hungry?" Jim asked Jamie, who was busy chewing on a corner of one of the blankets.
She nodded. "Uh-huh."
"Then let's get something for you to eat, huh?" Jim reached out to the little girl, who -- after a look back at Blair -- happily climbed into his arms.
Blair met Jim's eyes. "Thanks. I'll... be out in a few minutes. I just need a little while... to think."
Jim shifted Jamie to one hip and used his free hand to ruffle Blair's hair. "Sure. Take all the time you need. We'll be here."
"I appreciate it." Blair sighed. "It's gonna be a long day. I've got to talk to the in-laws sometime today... it won't be pleasant."
"Can't imagine it would be, given the circumstances," Jim sympathized.
"Yeah, and add that to the fact that they hate me anyway..." Blair shook his head. "It's not going to be fun. But I'll get through it, somehow. One moment at a time, I guess."
"Sounds like a plan, Chief."
Jim knew things had gone badly the moment Blair hung up the phone. He'd kept from listening in on the conversation, allowing Blair some privacy when he had called Maggie's parents. The police department had taken care of actually notifying them of Maggie's death, so Blair had at least been spared that responsibility. But whatever they had discussed had seriously annoyed Blair. Jim didn't need Sentinel abilities to hear the phone slam down, or Blair's curse.
"Dammit! They CAN'T DO THIS!"
Jim came running. "What's wrong?"
Blair turned to look at him, his expression full of anxiety. "Maggie's parents. They want Jamie! They said that they'd be more than happy to take her, since I 'obviously aren't able to'...! Jim!"
"They can't do that," Jim argued. "You're her father -- it's got a higher priority in the courts than a grandparent would have."
"Not if they can prove I'm unfit!" Blair was pacing now. "They said they'd do it if I didn't give her to them 'peacefully'. Jim, I can't lose her too! They said my job's far too dangerous for a single parent, and they have snoops who either can or have dug all kinds of stuff up from my past to use against me. These people have more money than I do, they've got a nicer home -- if this goes to court, they could win!"
"Well, for one thing, you're younger than they are and Jamie's gonna have a lot more years with you than she would them. You've also got a hell of a lot of friends on your side," Jim reminded him. "And we know Jamie's better off with you."
"Yeah..." Blair almost smiled -- almost. "I know. It means a lot; trust me. But... they're rich, they've got some pretty powerful lawyers..."
Jim grinned, determined. Beside the obvious, there were other benefits to his renewed relationship with his father. "So's my father. And I will not hesitate to call him if they try to pursue this. You tell them that they're in for a hell of a fight."
"I did."
"Good." Jim regarded his Guide for a long moment. "You're not going to lose your daughter; I promise you that."
The funeral was beautiful. Half of Cascade's police department seemed to be there -- along with many of the public who wanted to pay tribute to a fallen officer. The gang from Major Crimes stuck close by Blair, who looked as though their presence and support was all that was keeping him on his feet. The previous days had brought him to emotional exhaustion. Now, he could say goodbye, get some closure, and healing could begin.
Maggie's parents had the good sense not to bring up the subject of who would care for Jamie -- if they were just observing Blair for any possible evidence against him, they were at least quiet about it. Not that it would have done them much good. William Ellison's lawyers were waiting to pounce if the need arose.
"Never seen so many damn flowers in all my life," Blair sighed, looking at only the arrangements at the graveside. There had been even more at the memorial. He picked up a single rose from the ground, where it had fallen loose from a collection. "A white rose. Maggie loved white roses."
"Sandy?" Megan asked gently, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Are you all right?" After the graveside service, most of the Major Crimes detectives that had attended the funeral stuck around, to be there for Blair. He had been touched by their loyalty, and told them that they didn't have to, but -- as Simon had insisted, they took care of their own.
"Hmm?" Blair asked, distracted.
"Are you okay?"
"Not right now," he admitted. "I will be. Eventually. You know, life goes on." He smiled, watching Jamie -- who was teaching Jim her version of 'The Itsy Bitsy Spider'. "I've got my kid to worry about. I'll survive."
"We'll miss having you around every day," Joel said, coming around to stand on the side of Blair opposite Megan. "We know your reasons, though."
Blair smiled at them. "It's not as though you'll never see me again! I mean, just because I'm a consultant now doesn't mean I won't be around." He allowed for a dramatic pause. "Someone has to keep Jim human, after all."
Megan laughed, and hugged him. "You had better not stay away too long."
"Jim will invent cases to consult him on; I can just see it," Simon threw in.
Blair had done some thinking, and realized that Maggie's parents had been partially right: his job WAS dangerous, and Jamie did need someone who didn't stand a very good chance of not coming home at night. Maggie's death had only reinforced the 'risk is our business' aspect of life on the force. He had resigned from the department, and accepted a position at Rainier as a full-time professor. Major Crimes was not going to let him go so easily, however, and Simon and Jim had discovered that there was a job opening for a paid consultant on an as-needed basis. Naturally, they had made Blair aware of the offer, and he had been more than happy to take it. It seemed he had found the best of both worlds.
Rafe laughed. "Yeah, and we might just have to 'consult' you when Jim gets too tough to handle!"
"I'm the one chained to him now," Megan protested, mock indignant. Jim hadn't wanted another partner at first, but he had given in to the reason that leaving a Sentinel alone in the field was not a terribly good idea. Still, everyone knew that Blair would always truly be his partner, even if it wasn't official.
"Good luck." Blair laughed, then became serious again as he glanced back to the rose he still held.
"You about ready to go?" Jim asked quietly, after he'd come over. Jamie still clung to the ankles of her favorite adopted uncle.
Blair sighed heavily -- he'd been postponing this moment, but it had to come eventually. "Yeah. Gimme a sec." He laid the rose on the newly disturbed dirt, and reread the inscription on the marble stone. Don't think of her as gone away; her journey's just begun. Yes, it had. And so had a new chapter in Blair Sandburg's life -- a chapter he hadn't wanted to face, but had been forced to nonetheless.
'Til death do us part. He'd spoken those words the day he'd gotten married, but he'd never imagined it would actually happen. But it had, and he had survived -- through the help of some very good friends, and a precious little girl who needed him. He had faced one of the greatest tragedies of his life, and lived to tell about it. With friends like this surrounding him, he could face anything.
Blair placed his hand on the stone and sighed, a tear slipping down his cheek to disappear into the freshly turned earth. He wiped it with the back of his hand, and a tiny smile tugged at the corner of his lip. Maggie would have thrown up her hands at the 'sheer sappiness', as she'd have called it -- and suddenly, he knew just what to say. "Goodbye, Maggie... keep a place warm for me, all right? You know how much I hate the cold."
The End
Author's notes: Thanks to all who asked about this fic enough to inspire it. :-) Steph -- as always, thanks for the support. I'd go into all that "you are my touchstone" crap, but I've filled my sap quota for the month. Jen: your ideas do not suck; keep them coming. Thanks for the beta help, Shauna. I know the mistakes are my own, but I'll still blame you for them because I can. And, Ceci... thanks for all the tips, and for actually convincing me to go through with it. This whole 'universe' was so never intended to be a series -- it really got away from me! Major thanks to wolfpup, too, for giving these stories a home!